ATTITUDES

A friend posted a link to a you-tube video that tickled my funny bone titled "Secret to Happiness is to Be Thankful"

I feel like that when I use my cordless or cell.
Wow!
In my hand! In my pocket!

I feel just like that when I go on an airplane.
I AM FLYING - in the air - I love it! Every time!

Also as I sit here and type out this blog on the net.
Incredible!
HI MOM! I love you Grandma give me a kiss -
I can see you AND talk with you.

Miracles and wonders are a part of every day, every day.

My house has fingertip temperature control.
My bedroom, as a child, had frost on the roof - yes inside!
On the slope of the attic over our heads.
Mom had no trouble keeping us in bed at night - it was warm there.

And getting up? We made a dash to grab clothes and run downstairs to stand  over the furnace. That was a miracle too. Early every morning my father built up the banked coals (below the 3' square floor grid) in the furnace in the basement that created heat by burning wood and coal - yes - real fire - with smoke and ashes. If the fire went out or the chimney malfunctioned we knew what a wonder that warmth was - not to mention a father who faithfully day in and day out kept it burning. He even got up and stoked it in the night when Canadian winters were exceptionally harsh (temps lower than -30 degrees F). Usually banking it for the night saved fuel = money.

He was a wonder - but I often tell things I remember about him and mom.

And of course we got up - we wanted to eat.
If you stayed in bed you missed breakfast.
And that mattered even if it was 'mush'.
We were grateful to have food.
Treats were, well - treats - not everyday but an event.

Today I am counting blessings again.
 One by one x1x1x one x one by 1 by 1 x 1 . . .

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS

Harvest Time.
Autumn.
Thanksgiving.
Family.
Country.

These all seem ingrained and entwined in my psyche.
I was born in the fall.
Canadian Thanksgiving is mid October and in the United States it finishes November nicely after both countries honor veterans.

Falling leaves and crisp air carry color and scent past routines
and daily activities to the very chambers of my heart and mind.

Something primal struggles to surface.
I apply many labels but never feel quite satisfied with a resultant full emptiness that wallows in steady exuberant feelings (that I still as they seem too private to shout or flaunt) until snow finally freezes winter into place and melts that confused state of being into the joyous Christmas season.

A loved hymn encourages me to voice some of those labels, thoughts and feelings - sometimes only to myself.

I start listing labels in my prayers, and they seem to pop out of my mouth each time I open it enough  to breathe.

1 x 1 x one x one x 1 x 1 x one x one x 1 x 1 x one x one x -

you get it ....

TRY IT!

Suddenly it is impossible to be discouraged or 'lost' and burdens become bearable.

1. When upon life’s billows you are tempest-tossed,

When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessings; name them one by one,
And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.

[Chorus]
Count your blessings;
Name them one by one.
Count your blessings;
See what God hath done.
Count your blessings;
Name them one by one.
Count your many blessings;
See what God hath done.

2. Are you ever burdened with a load of care?
Does the cross seem heavy you are called to bear?
Count your many blessings; ev’ry doubt will fly,
And you will be singing as the days go by.

3. When you look at others with their lands and gold,
Think that Christ has promised you his wealth untold.
Count your many blessings; money cannot buy
Your reward in heaven nor your home on high.

4. So amid the conflict, whether great or small,
Do not be discouraged; God is over all.
Count your many blessings; angels will attend,
Help and comfort give you to your journey’s end.

Hymns of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, no. 241

Text: Johnson Oatman, Jr., 1856–1922  Music: Edwin O. Excell, 1851–19

CHANGE

This summer my son and his family came to stay with us as they experienced some significant changes in their lives.  Naturally that meant some changes for us too.  We took everything out of the office/den that used to be his bedroom and emptied part of another room that seems to always be in a state of chaos because it is where things are made and piled and changed and moved - yes it is also my sewing/craft area.

 UCKY! Where did all that stuff come from?
and where should it go to? - maybe byebye!
*"I will think about that tomorrow," says Scarlett.*

(We had to find somewhere 'safe' to put some of it -
the 'some' that is files and mostly genealogy and family history journals and letters and albums and pictures and - A MESS - I am working on making order and use of it -slowly - but I am picking away at it).

It went to our room -
except for the 3 garbage bags and several bushel boxes that went to the garbage - WHAT?!? What is this doing in here? Why is this in this pile? Why is this kept at all?  4 filing cabinets and 6 bushel boxes/Rubbermaid tubs to look at every night was a BIG change that has changed my priorities and perspectives - again!

Having it 'in my face' every single day made me think about it.

I love history. I especially love family history.
So why have I been wasting my time going to work?
And not doing what I actually prefer to be doing?

Now it is time to change again.
They are gone.
The house feels so empty.
And we miss little Cyndi so much.

After I finished cleaning I sat on the floor in each empty room/place and took a trip through memory lane. If you know me at all you know I only sat down there for a break and to rest up before moving on ....

When my children were at home I read books they read, and listened to music they liked - not exclusively but enough to become aware of things entering their minds and perceptions. I would go to their room every now and again and sit where they often sat or lay down on their bed, look around, and ask myself, "what are they seeing/hearing - or not?" I often was quite surprised (and occasionally even shocked) by what they saw or could hear every day; so much so that I varied the times I went to their 'places' to see and hear and feel some of their perceptions.  I also gained greater love for and understanding of them.

Casey - you should have told me that the sun shone in your eyes at that end of the table - I never sit there - at least not at dinner time! Thank you for simply adjusting the blinds and not complaining. Thanks for all the ways you adjusted and did not expect me to!

Before they came the house felt overwhelmingly full, but of what?

Sometimes, perhaps, we have to empty the 'junk' to allow 'joy' -
in our hearts and homes as well as our houses.

ONE

Something needs doing,
Something needs done,
Who's going to do it?
I'm not the one!
I don't have time
I just simply can't,
I have too much to do;
My knowledge is scant.

Somebody ought to -
Someone really should,
If somebody doesn't
I sure wish they would.

Others might suffer
But I can't be the one
Who steps out boldly
For others to shun,
I can't be involved
How would it seem?
My family and friends
May think I'm extreme!

No not I . . .
But somebody should
And 'something needs doing'
Does no one much good.

Excuses and wishes
In thought and in deed
Often leave others
With no one to lead.
Somebody, somewhere
Might need to be me
A choice can be made -
What will yours be?

Occasionally my thoughts run about in my head in the fashion just written here. It puzzles me - are those my own words? or did I learn them somewhere?

I have memorized a few bits of poetry and other things.
But I think those words are my own. (At one time my memory was of great use to me. Just laugh - that was supposed to be funny!)

There are times when we fail to do things we know should be done.
We blame it on our memory or make some other reasonable excuse.

Just today I dialed a long distance call on my phone,
or at least I tried to.

I got a recording, "We're sorry, you must first dial a 1 when calling this number. Will you please hang up and try your call again." What? I swear I did dial a 1 -  why wouldn't I? I know the routine. I have done it a kazillion times at least.

I checked redial - there was not a 1.
CRAZZZZZY!!!

This was a fairly inconsequential thing - I dialed again, with the 1.

There are little things that seem unimportant.
I may negligently overlook them
or even deliberately refuse to take time for them.

Things like smiling at my spouse
or children
or even a stranger,
or letting the kid with only one item
(or the parent with a cranky child) go ahead of me in line
or opening a door for someone,
or speaking a kind word,
or saying nothing at all.

You could add to the list - didn't you wonder about  _______?

Sometimes * siiggghhh*
sometimes my choice is right and sometimes it isn't
and sometimes it doesn't even seem like a choice.
Sometimes it is like that pesky 1.
Sometimes someone else has to give me a reminder
about what is needful and important.

I hope you will remind me as politely as the recording.
Read it again or try it yourself
- go ahead
- you will get the same recording.

And IF I need to remind you, please don't be as cranky towards me as I felt towards that impersonal phone recording.

Yelling and crying or even silently pouting doesn't accomplish what you want or need.  I just needed to dial the 1.  I understand if you are incredulous about a reminder at times. I really did check redial.  I was sure the phone was broken and still wonder if the buttons were sticky or something. Excuses didn't connect my call though. I had to choose to dial the 1.

And the call was important.  If I don't get the required information it will affect many people that are counting on me. They might be very disappointed.

Sometimes I count on you.  Sometimes I am disappointed.  I hope we can talk about disappointments without grudges and recriminations, with kind and cheerful forgiving words.

Choices.

They CAN be such  little things.