Wednesday, October 27, 2010

LICENSED TO SMILE

My driver's license is expiring on my birthday this year.
Happy Birthday to me.
I realize today is a few days off but today was 'D' day.

I have known for a couple of months that I was about to expire.
I noticed, even before I got the letter from the DOL.
I felt rather relieved actually.
5 years ago I considered losing that licence
so I could get a new picture - the same day I got it.  

Would that be dishonest?

This morning I looked in the mirror and thought,
"Hey - I think I 'cleaned up' OK today."

I've had a BIG helping of humble pie since then.

I have been dreading and privately plotting to beat my birthday renewal deadline. I went to the hair stylist about 10 days ago and asked her to cut my hair so it didn't look fresh from the salon. Yes, I admit I have to ask for such things. Perhaps because I am fundamentally a cheapskate, I usually ask to get it 'short to last as long as possible'. I told her I was shooting for a better license picture - she laughed. These pictures really are notorious.


I could have renewed on line but if you do they keep the same picture.
If I had been gorgeous back then that would have been OK but my long-pulled-back hair that day merely identified the way I looked on 'those' kind of days and emphasized the roundness of my overweight face.



Where was this policy when I was 30 something?

I figured that since I knew in advance,
 I could pick a day I looked decent,
 and I've been waiting - and waiting ...

For about a year now when a clerk asked for ID it was apparent that the picture no longer identified me.  After a quizzical look or two between my face and the license invariably I was asked,
"Is this you?"

DUH! - No - I carry a funky picture of someone else around with me pretending it is me! REALLY - time for a new one.
The clerk at DOL agreed.
She thought I looked very different too -
you've really changed she says ... !?!?!?!

After a quick eye exam -

(oh, whoops I didn't mean that,
 let me try again using letters not numbers -
 where did that come from??
 and what red dot? where? I don't seeeee one ...
you forgot to turn it on? now we're even)

- she tells me they don't take debit or credit - I am dumbfounded!
I have to run to the bank.
I never carry more than a couple bucks on my person.
Why would I when a card or two will fit in a pocket?
I have never carried a purse and I am not about to start now.
I tried it once but I kept leaving it.

When I got back and paid I was directed to stand in front of the blue banner with my toes behind the line for my 'glamour shot'.
I was kind of looking forward to that part - the getting a new picture part.  It fit my plot. I even checked in the restroom mirror to be sure my hair wasn't too windblown - I thought.

"Smile," the guy said while I was looking to see if my toes were behind the line. I looked up to see where the camera was as the flash went off.

I asked him to take a new one.  He said they never do.
What a way to generate cash flow!

My 'honest as the day is long' husband suggested I lose this licence.
It's only 5 bucks to get a replacement.

At first I thought I looked like a 'caught in the act' candid
after a college night with a white porcelain bowl!
Since I haven't ever really attended college I couldn't quite see myself mocking it that way.

I am wondering if perhaps the Department of Licencing wants the police officer to be able to compare the license picture with my face as the officer says, "do you know how fast you were going?" or "do you know your tabs are expired?"

I may keep it.  It looks like I am about to spit -

Every single day that I carry it in my pocket I will remember to put on my royalty face - my smiling RS face!Wave to our public dear - one never knows when someone will snap a picture.
Paste the smile on!

I think of Elder Richard G. Scott's general conference talk this October. He taught that we
"... become what we want to be, by being what we want to become..."
What a noble sentiment.

Don't sigh yet! The jury is still out!
I will decide when the color version arrives next week.

Meanwhile you decide?
What labels would you attach to such a picture?