EFFICIENCY

A short time a go I had some medical tests and went home to await the results.  I never received any. Later I called the clinic.  They couldn't tell me if there were results for tests because I did not have a signed release form specifying that the information could be released to me, myself or I!

Are you kidding me?

Then who is the information for?
Who CAN get the results?

The very nice sounding lady on the phone said if she could place me on hold she would check the file again to see if there were any signed permissions there. Sure enough - there were - my husband can pick it up! [Interesting that she could tell me that - without a signed form.]

I am infuriated!
I have seldom been so ticked in my entire life.

Seriously?

If I needed to sign a form for myself why, WHY, WHY, WHYWHY was I not given it at the same time that I signed the form that releases the information to my husband.  

My options were to make a special trip to the clinic to sign the needed papers and then I could ask for test results.  I tried calling my doctor, her nurse, her secretary - anybody -everybody - and then because I needed to know I knuckled under and had my husband pick up the results - along with a form for me to sign.

And I called back to make sure things would be ready for him on his lunch. I did wonder why I could discuss everything but the test results on the phone and set that all up but not get the results. He brought home a very nice letter, the form and the results. All is well.

I am still furious.

I am so mad it makes me well.

The form clearly says the clinic can release information to 'self'.  This is so seriously efficiency run amok.  I do not believe any such thing was actually required. I think said clerk was simply on a mixed up power trip.  She needs to be retrained.  I signed all the needed papers for 'privacy' when I first went to the clinic. That is why there is one on file for my husband. I checked and double checked at way back when.  My doctor will be hearing about the staff.

Early Monday morning the clinic called to tell me it is time to schedule another follow up test and ask where I would like the tests done. I told them the location and my availability and they promised to call back with the appointment.

A couple hours later the clinic called. Different person - "would I like to schedule my follow up tests or have them do it for me?" and then  "Where would I like them to schedule it at?"

I asked if they were in the same office as the last caller - uuhhmmm - they were. I asked if this was an additional appointment or the same one. It was the same test. I asked why it is necessary for both of them to call me.  I don't think she even got it!

She then asked me if I am authorizing setting up the appointment because I do not carry insurance at this time - why yes as a matter of fact I do and have not had any changes! "Oh", she apologized, "you haven't been in for more than 3 months so it isn't listed. We have just had a major change in our computers and perhaps your information has not been entered yet - do you still want me to make the appointment?"

I snapped. I had had enough.  "Not coming in for 3 months is a good thing, isn't it?" I asked her. The line was absolutely silent.  "That means I am healthy. That is a good thing right?"

She stuttered, "I-iii - ssssuppppose ssso."

"Isn't your co-worker making this appointment?"

She blustered and continued to stutter and said she would check. I have now spent more than an hour, between the two calls, on the phone with the clinic over the course of the morning. It is a necessary appointment.  I am trying to be patient and polite.  She comes back and says they will call me when the appointment is scheduled.

I thank her and hang up.

The phone rings in the middle of the afternoon.  It is the clinic.  They can't schedule the appointment yet because it is not due for x number of weeks and the test lab does not schedule that far in advance!

Seriously?

She promised to call back when it can be scheduled.

I am simply on the edge of my seat - aren't you?

Am I pleased with the girls at the clinic? Seriously?

I intend to stay as far away from medical facilities and staff as possible.
SERIOUSLY!!