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  • "Beauty is the secret sound of the deepest thereness of things." John O'Donohue

Thursday, May 20, 2010

CENTRAL TENETS

YOU are loved.

That, in a nutshell, is the simple short version.

Pretty simple that one.
I love you.
God loves you.
Your ____________ loves you.

What is love?   Really? ?   Oh, come on - you know!   REALLY.

We could blog definitions for love with the denotations and the connotations beyond eternity but bottom line - you know when you feel love and you also know when you don't.

Did I mention that I love you?
You can't change that by the way - same with God - he loves you much more than I do and that is just the way it is. You may dispute that love. You might try to prove that you don't deserve to be loved. You may even do foolish things that make me (or you - or both of us and even others) unhappy or that separate us from close interactions  - even from God - I will still love you. That's just the way it is. (I'll not presume to speak for God but I will witness that when I do foolish things he DOES continue to love me.)

You may not believe you ought to be loved. The prevalence of 'earning' love in our vocabulary and culture seems to teach us and train us to negotiate love.  Purposefully (or perhaps just in default) we buy into this concept - just try to divorce yourself from doing so - and we even may violate our true selves as we attempt to achieve a false security starting from such vain, futile premises.  I'll be your friend if you'll be mine.  I'll care for you as long as you meet my conditions.  I'll love you as long as you ... don't cry, get good grades, keep the house clean, go to work, pay the bills,  _____________ ...

And it seems to be a two way street.  If I do ___________  you will love me.  If I don't do ___________ you will love me.  If __________ you will love me more.  If we could master this would we need anyone?

The problem is that when love is negotiated, conditional, arranged and earned the deal is never sealed, never finished.  Can we really feel loved if we feel we may lose love by failing to meet conditions or contracts? How can we then ever be sure that there are not unidentified conditions that will nullify all previous expressions and professions of love? Is there not a fear in every heart that someone may stop loving us because __________ - go ahead - fill in the blanks.  We all do it - and when we do we doubt love.

We inherently know that real love has no conditions, no potential deficiencies.  I feel that love from Father in Heaven.

By the way - did I mention that I love you? You can't earn that. That is a done deal. I already do. You don't have to accept it either.  I just do - and will continue to.

It can be difficult to set aside concepts conditioned into our psyche and break away from ingrained patterns of  trying to earn love.  The 'real world' may have shown us that we get what we earn and we earn what we're worth. As we try to be 'lovable' can we ever allow ourselves to just sit back and be our genuine self? Our best kindest real self? There even come unspoken incongruities that potentially place others in charge - in control of what we do, what we say or how we act - perhaps even,  possibly - extending to how we think.   A great gap may distance us from our authentic selves and true principles to the extent that we become lost - lost to agency, lost to self respect, lost - simply, irrevocably lost.

So (in case you don't understand) I just want you to know that I care about you, deeply care what you think and feel and need - no strings attached - reciprocity is irrelevant.

Bottom line: I love you