RANDOM THINKING

YOU
are not going to hell
for stupid things I have done or may do -
all the mistakes
and idiocy
 my span of years on earth may entail.

Yep that's right - you are safe from me.

Me on the other hand -
well -
I am not going to hell
for the ridiculous things you are doing,
have done
or may continue to do in the future.

 I am safe from you.

Isn't that nice?!!!

And even better than that -
we both will likely make it to heaven.

That is nice to think about, that is -
YES IT IS!

And true too!!

FIVE

Five!

REALLY?

You are so big
and you are growing so fast!

Hendrix, how can you be 5??

ALREADY???

Do you know that you like some of the same things that many people in your family like, and you have many special talents like other people in your family?

I remember making teeny tiny baby slippers for you when you were born and putting flower beads all over a special white dress and hat I fixed up just for you. 

 I suppose your feet are much bigger now ...

When I was a baby I had 4 big brothers. You are lucky to have 3 brothers. Having older brothers is fun.

Everybody comes to earth as a baby.

My mom, Elna Jean Campbell Forsyth, was a baby 80 years ago!
She is your mommy's grandma.

When you were born I thought you looked like her and like me.

She is very kind and gentle. She is a very hard worker and helps lots of people.

She made new dresses for me and for my sisters for every special day. She also made shirts and pants and suits.  She helped me learn to sew and cook - she is a very good cook.  I have 7 brothers and 3 sisters. How much food would you need to fix to feed so many kids? She had to make 10 loaves of bread 3 times each week.

When her mother, Elna Bohne Campbell (that is my grandma), was a young girl cameras were a new fangled invention. Getting your picture was a big deal. If you moved the camera couldn't take your picture. It was very hard to get pictures of babies and children. The picture would look sort of blurry.

girl on left believed to be Elna Jean Campbell
girl on right is Roberta Campbell Uncle Ted's daughter

We only have a few pictures of my mom and my grandmas.

Laura Elizabeth Carpenter

We have a picture of my Grandma's mother, Laura Elizabeth Carpenter Bohne. She is my mom's grandma. She liked to help people. She was a nurse/midwife and helped many, many mommy's when they had babies. I saw a little red book once that had all the names of the mommy's and their babies written in it. I hope I can help people like my mom and her grandma.

A long time ago - about 50 years ago - I was 5 years old.

Linda about age 5

I wished and wished I could read.    I started school when I was 5.

winter 1961 Linda, Rex, Tim, Shane, Mom, Necia, Gene, Scott, Randy, Dad behind holding Becky

The next month I turned 6.  I was so happy.  I loved my teacher and I learned to read. It is one of my favorite things to do. I also like to draw pictures.

My mom likes to write stories and paint pictures.

She loves to read stories too. When she was a girl she would sneak a light behind blankets at night so she could read when she was supposed to be asleep. Her sisters would tell and she would get into trouble.

It has only been 30 years since your mommy was a baby.  She had lots of cousins that were babies too.

sitting Jace,
L to R - oldest to youngest - Laura, Nena, Shauna, Jami

When Aunt Bonnie, my youngest sister, got married your mommy and her girl cousins all had matching dresses.

Nena , Jami, Shauna, Laura

Sometimes you have fun playing with your bothers and cousins too. Do you remember making shirts?

It was very, very hard for your mommy to learn the alphabet and read but she loves stories too.  She worked and worked and worked until she was a good reader. She always begged Papa to tell her stories and dance with her. She loves dancing and she can draw and paint and make wonderful things.

 1985 Mommy far right front row age 5. Grandma behind her to the right. 

When she was about your age she made lots of cool things for her dolls and toy horses. Ask her to tell you about the pony cart she made out of an egg carton.

Can you see Papa-pa in this picture?

I know you like to swim. I think you are part fish.  When your mommy was a baby (14 -18 months old) I had to hold onto her or else she would run and jump into any water she saw and try to swim.

Do you still like to travel?

When you went to see my dad and mom you had to drive in the car for 12 hours - that is half a day! You just smiled and played.
I like to go places too.

Do you still like to dance?
I love to dance.
When you dance with Papa-pa it makes you giggle!
Papa-pa loves to dance.
When he was in college he could dance like the Prince in the Nutcracker. He has a nutcracker that is almost as tall as you are!

We like when you come to play at our house.
It is very fun. Remember when you were almost as tall as the sunflowers and the peach tree?

When your mommy got married to your daddy in the temple she looked like a princess. The temple is a very special place.  I hope we can go there together some day.

Hendrix we love you very much.

We hope you have a very fun fifth birthday.

MISS BRIGHT EYES IS WATCHING

At church yesterday a bright eyed little girl stood peeking over the pew in front of us.  She watched us with great interest and tried every way imaginable to engage us in play.

Her mother, and her grandmother, tried their level best to get her to sit quietly and not 'bother' us - even when we whispered she wasn't.

At one point I touched my finger to my lips and then folded my arms. She was looking me directly in the eye and I smiled at her as I looked back.  My husband had winked at her a few times and given her back toys or books that were 'dropped'. She glanced at him a few times but he was looking at the speaker.  I too looked at the speaker.

She looked at me.  She continued to look at me. She was slightly in my line of sight and I could see her watching me.  She stood raptly as if in a trance.  Her mother turned to see what she was looking at - I gave no indication that I noticed.  Her mom turned back around after a second or two with a bit of a puzzled expression.  I don't think it mattered a lot what Missy Bright Eyes was looking at as long as she was quiet and calm. I remember those days.

The child stood there, wriggling once in a while (but never taking her eyes off me) for a minimum of 5 full minutes.  I couldn't stand it! I NEVER hold still that long.  I jot notes or some other appropriate 'fiddling' to prevent myself from standing up, yelling, or running out of the building.  I picked up my pencil.

Miss Bright Eyes instantly took my movement as permission to do like wise - to move - and continued to watch me!

(What? How can I fiddle now? Excuse me but how can you hold so still for so long? You are 2 or less! Let me pinch you and take you out in the hall to run around.)

I read in her eyes - we were locked in rapt gazing again - that my irreverence would be permission for hers so instead of writing I folded my hands quietly over the pencil wondering how long I would be held captive.

She continued to watch me until her mother, in an effort to sit more comfortably (and oblivious to the favor she was doing me), shifted enough to that side that she picked the child up from where she stood between mom and grandma, next to the wall, and placed her on the outside edge of the pew.

WHEW! finally I could scribble down all the things rambling around in my head from the speaker and even look up a song in the hymnal and a scripture or two - without intense scrutiny!

Miss Bright Eyes faced forward for a few minutes (in the circle of her mom's arm) and then wiggled around so she could see us again.  I was fine with that.  This time she was face to face with my husband.

He was dozing.

Boring!

That didn't last long at all.  Soon she was back over between her adults trying to lean far enough over the bench to grab my red pencil. She swung and swung her little arm and stretched and stretched to get that pencil - it was just a smidge out of reach every time! And she was perfectly invisible to me.  I acted like I could not see her at all and she eventually gave up and found other things of interest.

Those eyes are still vivid in my mind.
Miss Bright Eyes is watching me.
I better mind my P's and Q's!

LOOKING BEYOND

Sin,
evil,
punishment,
damnation,
hell,
judgement -
is that a summary of your religion?
your Sundays?

I surely hope not!

Those don't sound too desirable to me.

I get downright cranky when I hear messages that impute such things as the core of religion and religious beliefs.

To me the real core is hope,
along with peace, kindness and happiness.

Are these real? - I want to know more about that very thing - that is why I choose to study the Bible and other sacred texts, for at least a few minutes, almost every day.  I believe they are as real and perhaps more so that that first scary list! And I choose to think on them and learn about them first - even if I have to have a bit of the other to help me understand - I am reaching for these - the good and the wonderful - the better and the best!

At Sunday School this year our class is studying the New Testament.  We started the New Year with the central and wondrous message of all Christianity - the gospel - the good news angels sang so long ago ...

JESUS CHRIST is born!

Why is that such a big deal?
I will study that every Sunday this year -
and hopefully find some answers to the question.

So what is the new testament?
Not the book itself but the testimony it contains that earned it the name of being new and if it is new what is the old?

I hope to learn more about that very thing.

I learned many, many things as I studied the Old Testament last year.  Of course the main thing I learned was that the testimony there [in that part of the Bible] is indeed old and indeed a testimony - of what? of Jesus Christ, of course - that he, a literal son of God in the flesh, will live among people as ordinary as you and I here in the very place we live - on earth.

I also pondered again Isaiah's message (it is one of my favorite things to read). Isaiah exulted in that testimony! The reality that Jesus Christ, a literal son of God, would be born - and die! Exulted? Absolutely - exulted in and testified of the most joyful and incredibly wonderful and happy news ever to be known! You may have to read it to get it! You may have to read it more than once - just remember all he ever really says is that one thing  - or some version of it and why it is a big deal.

Each week, this year, I will (hopefully) peruse a study guide and not only read but also study the New Testament (King James Version)  itself and learn more about what the testament there, in that book, is.

I have read it before.  I will read it again. And again.

Hope,
Peace,
Kindness
Happiness -
that is a summary of my religion,
and usually my Sundays.

FOLLOWING IN FOOTSTEPS

SNOW - inches on everything - deeply - breathe -
 there that is better, cold invigorating snow - 
yay for snow!


I actually kind of like snow.
Not having dangerous roads
or getting stuck,
but skiing, sledding, snowflakes, snowmen and all the other fun and invigorating things that come with snow and winter generally. I like seeing the footprints of birds and animals and shoes/boots and even tires. 


I went for a walk a bit ago - 
before the snow came, 
but it had been here before that and things were fairly icy and nasty out.


On my block my neighbors hadn't bothered to shovel sidewalks and frequent freezing and thawing storms had made that first block very treacherous.  


On the next block came the plowed street and then a street between here and where I was headed that has been mostly blocked off and is used as a walking short cut.  

I could see people tracks - just a few.  Some big fellow had been along while the snow was fresh and then the sun had melted the footsteps down to bare pavement.  My little feet fit into the footsteps and I decided it might be a good plan to 'follow' the footsteps.  I thought it might be safer to walk on the payment than the snow and ice.  There were a few other fresher prints that had crunched through on the colder days (since that warmer one) but they had not melted.


So I started out to step in the steps. I quickly found I could not safely do so. Although my little feet fit in the tracks nicely my short legs could barely reach from one to the next - that was not only exhausting but not particularly safe either. 

Really - have you ever tried to walk, step by step, in someone else's footsteps? 4 of my steps equaled 3 of the big ones - or maybe it was 5 of mine to 4 of those - I couldn't decide but my stride definitely came up short and did not match. I think you or someone like you walked along again the same day I did.  I tried to line up our prints. 


That block was past and I noted that many cars had mostly polished the ice off the intersecting cross street. 

It isn't really used much either.  The next block MIGHT have a car drive down it - nothing there and no reason for any car to turn there or drive along it but once in a blue moon a car might - and sure enough on the part that can still be driven along there had been - one. I could see the tracks. 

They were nicely melted too.

I tried walking along one wheel track. 

It was just a smidge too narrow - I know because later I took a short cut along a strip of concrete edging that was perhaps only an inch wider.

I gave up trying to line up my feet one in front of the other and balance along the tire track. I just walked along the snowy part but along the concrete edging I had no difficulty at all.






I thought about trying to follow 'others' most of the way as I walked that mile or so. Perhaps it is not as easy as it appears to be.  Though we may pass the same way please don't judge me if I walk more slowly - perhaps my stride is shorter or your balance better. And if I stop and snap cell phone pictures - well - what if I do?


I know you would have to be very patient if you tried to walk in my footsteps.  You might wonder why the steps are so close together or why one shoe has a different shape and sometimes tread.  And btw is it your toes that turn out or in? 


During some physical therapy I spent part of my time on an elliptical trainer. It was very difficult for me to make the machine get going.  Over the holidays we 'acquired' an older, used model that was counting its days until dust in a garage after passing through multiple forgotten or discarded exercise programs. 


I have learned something funny about walking/running.


Does your right arm swing with your left leg or with your right leg? The elliptical swings the opposite arm and leg together.  It felt very awkward to me.  I wondered if it was not set up right, until I realized that my normal gait is not opposite.  I swing my left arm and leg together and my rights together - at least until I really get moving.  I don't notice the changeover but when I get moving they swing opposite. I wonder if that has always been the case or if it is a learned way of walking with crutches or some such thing.   


My husband laughs - he thinks it is because of the way I see.  I have a astigmatism.  My two eyes see as if independent from each other. I have very little depth perception, terrible eye hand coordination, cannot use binoculars (I look through them one eye at at time) and I hate 3D movies. 


I think I see things my own unique way - no snide remarks permitted!  I am very far sighted and get nauseous if I sit too near the front of chapels, auditoriums or movies. I love to sit as far away as possible - and resent being asked constantly to 'move forward'.  It makes me sick - seriously! I try to compromise with people that like to sit near the front - are you nearsighted?


As we pass along to our ultimate destinations please allow for my steps being over 'there' a bit and moving like the tortoise compared to the hare. And I will sit nearer the front with you, read upcoming signs before you  can really see what is on them - or whatever. 


And let's shake our heads and laugh together sometimes -
at how truly unique, special and OK we each are.  

FOR AVALIN

Snowflake on my windbreaker (slick nylon fabric magnified)

You've had a birthday, shout HOORAY!!

Six years old. That is amazing!
I remember coming to your house when you were born.

It was very snowy and wonderfully cold.
Tiny snowflakes were floating in the air like dust.

On very cold days tiny snow can look like glitter in the air.

Snowflakes are amazing. They are very, very tiny.

snowflake beside my jacket zipper

Did you ever see a real snowflake?
All by itself?

They often have six main points.

To see snowflakes everything has to be just right.

this picture is magnified from the picture below (showing a camera)

You have to have good eyes, and look very carefully.

snowflake on our car

Sometimes pictures can help us see tiny things too.

look at the picture above to see the two snowflakes here magnified

One day, when I could see snowflakes everywhere, I ran into my house and got a camera.

 I forgot I was going shopping.  Uncle Clarence and I took pictures of snowflakes.  THAT was more fun!

It snowed so much that the snowflakes slid into piles everywhere.

You know what piles of snowflakes make - snowdrifts.

Soon I could not see each little snowflake - they were all getting stuck together into bigger and bigger snowflakes and piles.

I can still look at all my pictures of little snowflakes and see each one of them.

I can look at my pictures of piles of snowflakes that look like something soft and fluffy.

Sometimes I even look at pictures of snowdrifts.

I have piles of grandchildren.
I like to look at their pictures.

I love to see each one.

This picture makes me think of a mommy with a tiny baby.

Lots of love
Grandma FarFarAway

FOG coming

Sometimes we know where we want to go,
and how to get there.

We can see with clarity problems ahead,
make plans, and even try to prepare in every conceivable way.

We traveled home this week from a short trip.

We knew the road and we knew the season:
both can be difficult, both can be dangerous.
We have traveled in the area before.
We were prepared. We were blessed.
We arrived safely.

top centre shows freeway winding through snowy hills

We  experienced blue skies and dense fog on our recent homeward trip. I have been thinking about it since then. The experience left an indelible image in my mind that will likely last the rest of my life. It is the image of blue clear skies above a thick blanket of cloud that can be warned about and then in the distance seen. Sometimes we can not avoid such experiences and must go through such 'narrow' places.

We traveled for several hours on a beautiful sunny December day along clear, mostly dry, roads. Temperatures were above freezing and icy patches from earlier in the day had melted to bare, wet pavement.

 As we neared Cabbage Hill in Oregon a reader board and flashing lights warned us about thick fog ahead. It was hard to believe or imagine as we drove through the sunshine but these warning signs are usually accurate. They often are placed at locations of safety and clarity to help travelers choose safe options and prevent accidents and sorrow. We expected to have some reduced visibility on the hill because it is quite high and steep. It can be like driving into the clouds going up it and coming out of them going down.  Strangely there were few clouds visible except distantly over the mountains.

Elder David A. Bednar spoke of such warning signs recently and instructed listeners about happiness and safety in families. These warning signs made me think of his General Conference talk: there is hope, there is help, there are blue skies, God IS real and does love each of us. There is a plan! It is the plan of happiness.

As  we crested the top of the downgrade and began to thread our way down the hill toward the hairpin turns we could see a thick blanket of cloud completely obscuring the valley and views below. I wondered how far we would have to drive through the cloud/fog and how thick it might be. I even got out our camera.  I thought it might be fun to video going into and out of dense cloud/fog.

As  we approached closer and closer time seemed suspended - is it around this bend? over this next drop? behind this view blocking wall of rock the road cuts through? I decided we were close enough to turn on the camera. [Please ignore the crack that began the winter after a large rock, dislodged from between semi tires, smacked into our windshield on another trip - we ignore it all the time - at least until we get together money to replace it by paying our insurance deductible.]

The fog never materialized around that bend - it was still ahead. Our fog lights were on.  We have a stable car with good tires. The roadway was dry and the lanes clearly marked.  Also the freeway was divided and had excellent side guardrails.  Oncoming traffic, separated from us by embankments and rails, would not be a factor and traffic traveling with us was very light.  We knew we were going to have this experience and  could not predict with certainty exactly when or the outcome.

We have traveled in severely reduced visibility in the past. Would this be worse? or not as bad? There was no turning back or aside or stopping. Only time would tell. We slowed down significantly. Past experience (and wise counsel) help us to negotiate potential hazards.

Sometimes it is hard to not literally or figuratively lose our way (even when we know where we are going) as we experience overwhelming trauma or other unforeseeable circumstances that obscure those plans and destinations in ways that seem beyond our abilities to comprehend or endure.

Elder Deiter F. Ucthdorf , in a talk entitled "Prayer and the Blue Horizon" spoke about such times and the solutions that will lift us above clouds of despair or darkened and difficult stormy times. When we encounter such times they can seem as obscuring fog that hides all views and even taxes our memory of clear skies, better and possible sunny days, and even the destinations and desires that are real but require our constant focus and persistent efforts to claim.

Elder Uchtdorf explained the hope and help that accompany God's ways, commandments and plan. I reiterate - there is hope, there is help, there are blue skies and the plan is The Plan of Happiness. It is His gift to us!

As soon as we entered the bank of cloud all view of the blue above and the world around us ended.



It wasn't nearly as bad as the worst we imagined - except it did not end.  It lessened but we continued in fog for many hours all the way home - with sometimes less, and sometimes more visibility! Holding the picture of blue skies securely in my mind, imaging them above us clear and bright, seemed to lessen the fog. It definitely made it more bearable even after darkness deepened and visibility lessened more. Even in the later darkness of night coming on I could imagine a clear starlit sky with all below bathed in moonlight. I knew with surety that the confines of the experience had limits and were temporary.

That is how we spent most of Christmas Eve - in a fog!

NOT SCROOGE

Least anyone think a scrooge or two are living around here let the included pictures, links and videos lay to rest such foolishness. 

I hope you enjoy these videos (despite the questionable resolutions) of our rotating tree, ornaments and etc.

We have loved the purple green combination, as well as the red and gold we needed to add to have enough ornaments. It has been terrific too.  I never would have thought it up without some shopping inspiration from prepackaged stuff and the help of my talented daughters, daughter-in-laws and sisters that have encouraged me and egged me on. Thanks girls! BTW those pears glow in the dark! So do the angels and the star on top.

without lights 

I don't think you believe in any 'Scroogeness'  anyway if you have been following the process of 'decking our halls' with wreaths , lights, and etc. 

One friend on walking into our living room asked, "how could a person not feel happy here? This looks like 'Christmas Present' in the story The Christmas Carol".  Although the camera distorts the sound of the bells they ring true in reality. The camera also reads some of the purples as blues.  It is ironic because they all look the same color in the room.  I suppose the light reflects differently to the lens of a camera than to the lens of the eye.

Indeed it felt a bit like the Dicken's description of Christmas present around here this year.

We have and live in abundance.

We are grateful to all our family, friends and other loved ones that accept our gifts of abundance by visiting or otherwise enjoying and sharing these delights of the holidays. We will miss all the fullness and lights when we put them away to start the New Year but we also like how fresh, clean and uncluttered everything becomes from all the dusting, decorating, and un-decorating of Fall and Winter.

It is always a time to look closely into every corner and crevice and scrutinize our attitudes, needs and wants - what is working, what is not and where are the cobwebs, dust, and closet skeletons with all their dirt collecting or hiding. Some things need to see the light of change, some need to be tidied and organized, and some just need to be swept out or thrown in the trash. 

It is a wonderful time to decide what we want most and then work to achieve those desires.

What is worth preserving and what can we let go?