WHO, ME??

“Pride affects all of us at various times and in various degrees (President Ezra Taft Benson, 1989 [i]).

Recently while visiting family members, my niece’s friendly, 14 month-old son taught us a valuable lesson about interpersonal relationships.

When we arrived, after a short period of getting acquainted, he accepted us as belonging: after all Nana, Papa, mommy, and daddy—everyone he knows and trusts—hugged us and seemed delighted to see us.

My sister, his Nana, and I look a lot alike. We laughed to see his eyes swiveling back and forth between us. That seemed to reassure him, and soon he allowed me to play with him and even carry him when he was a tiny bit fussy.

My husband, proud Papa to our own 19 grandchildren, began to play typical baby games including lightly touching a place he’d announce, such as “finger,” or “toes.” Encouraged by successes with “ear” and “nose,” he pointed to the baby’s chin while saying, “chin.” Baby’s eyes grew wide, and he turned away almost crying. We were all puzzled.

What could possibly cause the word ‘chin’ to frighten a child?

Not to be easily deterred, my husband soon tried again. He saw no harm in the simple game. The baby cried out, and I returned him to Nana.

She comforted him, and he quieted.

The next afternoon baby cut two, new bottom teeth.

None of us had realized his mouth, or chin, might be sensitive.

“Psychologists tell us … we all have limited facts and active biases. No human sees clearly,” teaches Dr. H. Wallace Goddard, Professor of Family Life for the University of Arkansas, in his book Drawing Heaven Into Your Marriage
(2007, p.63). 

Goddard reminds us that pride causes us to be attuned “to our own needs as the standard of judgment,” causing us to “presume” what others think and feel. We then “define the problem—whatever it is—in terms of [them]” (p.64).

PRIDE

“Pride is the universal sin, the great vice,” said President Ezra Taft Benson, and then repeated, “Yes, pride is the universal sin, the great vice. (1989)

Sin?  What is sin? 

Youth in my Sunday School class in 2012 decided sin is anything that divides or separates us from God, and the great plan He has for our happiness.

Divides? Separates?

The youth (age 14-16) gave an example.

If we divide 4 by 2 we get 2.
Two is less than 4. 

But says the mathematician,
"now you have more pieces."

Exactly!  If we have a pizza, and cut it into pieces, each piece is separated into less than a whole pizza. (And if a greedy sibling cuts the pizza, and gets first choice, you can almost guarantee that some pieces will be bigger than others and you will get the smaller ones.)

So what is sin?

If dividing is less of something,
is sin less happiness?

We all could understand that it is.

Sin is choosing less happiness.

Sin is anything that diminishes real, lasting joy.

I want to be happy.
And I want happiness to last!
I want joy!

What about you?

The sin of pride, separates marriages, families, and communities from more happiness, by turning all into enemies—including God and self.

UNAWARE

President Benson taught that many may not even be aware that their "faultfinding, gossiping, backbiting, murmuring, living beyond [their] means, envying, coveting, withholding gratitude and praise that might lift another, and being unforgiving and jealous” are manifestations of pride. The scripture teach that some sin in ignorance (See Mosiah 3:11; 3 Ne. 6:18; Mosiah 1:3-7).

            Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness. All these are elements of the sin, but the heart, or core, is still missing.

            The central feature of pride is enmity—enmity toward God and enmity toward our fellowmen. Enmity means ‘hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition’ (Benson, 1989).

President Benson thoroughly explored how “Pride is a sin that can readily be seen in others but is rarely admitted in ourselves”
(See 2 Ne. 9:42).

Looking with envy at those who are richer or more talented can be as prideful as despising those with less.

                 

"Pride adversely affects all our relationships—our relationship with God and His servants, between husband and wife, parent and child, employer and employee, teacher and student, and all mankind.

"Our degree of pride determines how we treat [others]” (Benson, 1989).

                  
Be a Little Kinder, taught President Gordon B. Hinckley.

Although in our mind we think we are harmless and without fault, in fact we may entirely fail to perceive truths or realities. Goddard explains:

The natural mind is an enemy to truth. Each one of us sees our own versions of ‘truth’ and imagines that no one in the world sees truth as clearly as we do … [thus preventing] us from connecting with others …. Humility is the friend of truth [which] opens us up to the experience of others and to truth from heaven.
(2007; p.63).

AN ANTIDOTE

Benson penetratingly asked if we follow the example of Jesus Christ to lift others, or instead give Satan power “to reign over us.” And he suggested an antidote: “humility” (Benson 1989). 

•        Do we hate anyone giving us counsel, correction, or perhaps asking us to do our share? (Prov. 15:10; Amos 5:10.)
  
  The proud defensively “justify and rationalize their frailties and failures” (Benson, 1989; See also Matt. 3:9; John 6:30–59).
   .   .   . 
  Can we get along and go along?
  can .   .   .
•        Do we contend? “Arguments, fights, unrighteous dominion, generation gaps, divorces, spouse abuse, riots, and disturbances all fall into this category of pride … The scriptures tell us that “only by pride cometh contention.” (Benson, 1989; Prov. 13:10; see also Prov. 28:25.) 
  
  Can we make peace?
  .
•        Do we give or take offense readily, nurse hurt feelings and grudges, or “withhold forgiveness to keep another in [our] debt” and “justify … injured feelings?”(Benson, 1989; 1Ne.16:1–3).
  .  .  . 
  Can we forgive and forget?
  

Alma, a Book of Mormon prophet, taught the people of the city Gideon

be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive. And see that ye have faith, hope, and charity, and then ye will always abound in good works. (Alma 7:23-24).

“The antidote for pride … is the broken heart and contrite spirit”
(Benson, 1989; See 3 Ne. 9:20; 3 Ne. 12:19; D&C 20:37; D&C 59:8; 
Ps. 34:18; Isa. 57:15; Isa. 66:2).

HUMILITY

Becoming humble challenges pride. It may be difficult.  Elder M. Russell Ballard quips "Failure is only when you quit trying...if you keep working at a task and try to do what's right and honest, ultimately it works out."

Ballard reminds listeners: “Set goals that are well balanced—not too many nor too few, and not too high nor too low. Write down your attainable goals and work on them according to their importance. Pray for divine guidance in your goal setting” (April 1987).
  

Ballard also helps me understand family priorities:

When [you] make family and religious commitments
. . . societies at large are strengthened as families grow.stronger.

Commitments to family and values are the basic cause. Nearly everything else is effect.
. . .

So the bad news is that family breakdown is causing a host of societal and economic ills.

But the good news is that, like any cause and effect, those ills can be reversed if what is causing them is changed.

Inequities are resolved by living correct principles and values.  If we will devote ourselves to this cause, we will improve every other aspect of our lives”
(April 2012). 

Family and marriage relationships are work, but are critical to eternal happiness.

It is important to accept and validate feelings and feedback conveyed from all with whom we interact. Just like our niece’s baby really didn’t have a way to let anyone know he was going through a painful experience, our loved ones many not be able to send their message in a way we easily understand.

They may only be able to cry out, and we may misunderstand intent, desires, needs, expectations, and feelings. They need comfort.

Concern for, and consideration of others replaces the hatred and hostility of enmity with charity and compassion. Service and gratitude soften our hearts and theirs, promote patience, and foster the forgiveness toward others that (with inexpressible gratitude) we begin to recognize as necessary, and seek for self in submissive obedience to a loving Father; God, the Father of all. 

References:

Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Keeping Life’s Demands In Balance,”157th Annual  General Conference, April 1987

Elder M. Russell Ballard, "That the Lost May Be Found," 1 April 2012, or  May Ensign, pages 98.

Elder Quentin L Cook, of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, “Can Ye Feel So Now?” 182nd Semi-annual General Conference, 6 October 2012    

Goddard, H. W. (2007). Drawing heaven into your marriage: powerful principles with eternal results. Fairfax, VA: Meridian Pub.

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[i] President Ezra Taft Benson delivered "Cleansing the Inner Vessel" April 1986. And then reiterated and expanded his teachings April 1989 when he requested Gordon B. Hinckley, first counselor in the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, to read “Beware of Pride” in his behalf.

NURTURING NICETIES: MARRIAGE MATTERS

Is my spouse a jerk? Or are we friends?  Nurturing relationships begins with crucial understanding of basic truths.

He Is Risen; by Del Parson

First, and more important than character assassinations or evaluations, is surety that God is real, and that Jesus Christ, as His only begotten son, atoned for sin and error.

Dr H Wallace.Goddard; 
popular author, researcher, and Professor of Family Life for the University.of Arkansas, coaches companions in marriage to invite “partners to gaze with [each other] on truths.of eternity” where they “are more likely to find common ground,” and “open the door to love.”

This requires faith to “trust that God is working to rescue our spouses even as he is working to rescue us.”  (2007, pp.54-55).

Goddard tutors that when stress persuades us marriage was a blunder, to remember that most likely “God guided us to be together” and can use “our marital choices” to “bless and balance us” (2007, p.57).

Through faith, and fundamental gospel truths, all things are possible (see Mathew 19:26).

Basic truths are succinctly outlined in

                         The Family: 
           A Proclamation to the World:

Hands image from lds.org

Remembering that my husband has divine potential reminds me to look for traits and characteristics of his “eternal identity and purpose.” I also am a daughter of God, and therefore have “divine nature and destiny.”

HELP WITH HOW

Consciously choosing this point of view, regarding myself as a daughter of God and my spouse as God’s son, changes irritations to opportunities. They are an “invitation to better thinking and acting” (Goddard, 2007, p. 57).

I wonder how I can foster his divine character. How would a daughter of God respond to general crankiness or irritability, to doubt or pride, and other potential mortal imperfections? Without essential principles of Christian living firmly entrenched in our hearts our marriage would have failed many times.

Anciently, when church members at Corinth were arguing with each other, and battling in court, the Apostle Paul explained “a more excellent way”—Charity.

Paul Writing His Epistles; Attributed to Valentin de Boulogne  (1591–1632)

Paul’s warning reverberates through time into modern relationships.

Even if I “understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor … it profiteth me nothing.”

BE KIND

Paul describes some of the attributes of this more excellent way: “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth[i] not itself, is not puffed up … seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil …  rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things” (1Cor.13:2-13).

I don’t need to move any mountains, but I’d really like some kindness, patience, strength, hope and endurance.

Elder Joseph B. Writhlin, a Latter-day apostle (1986-2008) instructed that “the greatest manifestations of love are the simple acts of kindness and caring” extended to others in our lives. "Even when we make mistakes, we hope others will love us in spite of our shortcomings—even if we don’t deserve it” (2007).

Kindness is the essence of greatness and the fundamental characteristic of the noblest men and women ….

Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes.

Kind words not only lift our spirits in the moment they are given, but they can linger with us over the years. … The things you say, the tone of your voice, the anger or calm of your words—these things are noticed ….

Nothing exposes our true selves more than how we treat one another in the home. Kindness should permeate all of our words and actions at work, at school, at church, and especially in our homes (Wirthlin, April 2005).

PRAY … TO SEE GOOD

“Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion,” instructs President Henry B. Eyring, First Counselor in the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

“Pray for the love that makes weaknesses and mistakes seem small. Pray for the love to make your companion’s joy your own. Pray for the love to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion” (2009).

CHANGE IS POSSIBLE

If warring nations can begin to make peace, surely it is possible in marriages and homes. 

In her May 2011 visit to Dublin, Ireland, Queen Elizabeth of Great Britain, demonstrated a powerful example of the principles of charity, change (repentance), apology, forgiveness, and sacrifice.

“We can all see things which we would wish had been done differently or not at all ... [With] forbearance and conciliation [we need to be] able to bow to the past, but not be bound by it." 

And with the majesty of her many titles, the longest reigning monarch in the world extended apologies and condolences to Ireland for her nation’s past atrocities.

Goddard claims “Marriage is God's graduate school for advanced training in Christian character" (2007, p.8).

“In real life, love is much more than a feeling, it is a long series of decisions to be together, and give to one another, a commitment to work together to build a shared life, a day to day involvement that changes who we are as people” (Goddard, 2008).

CLINICAL MATERIAL

Commenting about stress felt as we marry, raise families, and mingle together; Neil A Maxwell, an apostle of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (1981-2004), taught that in all our interpersonal relationships the people we interact with “constitute the sample of humanity” God given as “clinical material, and we make a mistake when we disregard that sober fact”(6 February 2000, February Ensign, 2001). 

Explaining further Maxwell quoted President Brigham Young as teaching, “There are … no two persons tempered alike; … we are tried with each other, and large drafts are made upon our patience, forbearance, charity, and good will, in short, upon all the higher and Godlike qualities of our nature” (in Deseret News, 6 July 1862, 9). 

“Our own spiritual maturity is revealed in how we respond to the weaknesses, the inexperience, and the potentially offensive actions of others” taught a modern apostle, Elder David A. Bednar. “A thing, an event, or an expression may be offensive, but you and I can choose not to be offended” (2006).

Maxwell (2001) instructed, “The eloquence of Jesus’ example of long-suffering and patience with each of us is surely something we must emulate—more than we usually do—in our relationships with each other!” He continued:

You are going to have days when people make a large draft on your patience, when they lay claim to your long-suffering that you may feel they don’t quite deserve. This is part of the chemistry that goes on in discipleship if we are serious about it …

It is within these circles of influence that you can strive to carry out all the dimensions of the second great commandment [to love others (Matt 22:36-40)] including giving praise, commendation, and occasional correction. It is good for us to develop further our relevant skills. Paul prescribed, however, ‘speaking the truth in love’ (Eph. 4:15).

We usually know if someone speaks “in love,” Elder Maxwell maintains, and we are more able to accept difficult course corrections and reproof when they are given lovingly. With love “there is a much greater chance that what we say will find its mark in the hearts and the minds of other people” (6 February 2000, February Ensign, 2001).

GIVE PRAISE

In the Book of Mormon Pahron, though censored by an angry Moroni, chooses not to take offense but looks at Moroni’s good intentions and commends him for his uprightness. (Alma 61:2, 9). 

Maxwell reminds us, “We too can give others ‘the garment of praise’ (Isa. 61:3). There are so many people with no such clothing in their wardrobes—or only a T-shirt. They shiver for want of a little praise. Meanwhile, each of us has far more opportunities for bestowing deserved praise than we ever use!”(2001).

PASS IT ON

How am I able to give admiration, approval, honor, and appreciation? 

Elder Maxwell advises that it is imperative to be able to “give and receive” corrective council as well as commendation. Paul counsels “not to reprove others too much, causing them to ‘be swallowed up with overmuch sorrow’ (2 Cor. 2:7), and President Brigham Young, directed that “we should never reprove beyond the capacity of our healing balm to reach out to the person reproved” (see Deseret News, 6 Mar. 1861, 1).

Brigham Young Portrait, by Kenneth Corbett

Again quoting Brigham Young, Maxwell teaches, “The principle of love within us is an attribute of the Deity, and it is placed within us to be dispensed independently according to our own will” (in Deseret News, 4 Apr. 1860, 34). We decide how we express love.” Interest in others is in our “own interest” to become more like our Heavenly Father (in Deseret News, 18 June 1856, 116). In all relationships “ …the mentoring, the tutoring, the commending, and occasionally the correcting” provides “ample clinical opportunities to develop our capacity to love.” Maxwell cautions us to beware least these ‘opportunities’ “pass us by unnoticed 

(see Morm. 8:39).

REFERENCES

And Nothing Shall Offend Them, David A Bednar (October 2006), Retrieved May 31, 2017 from https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2006/10/and-nothing-shall-offend-them?lang=eng

Goddard, H. W. (2007). Drawing heaven into your marriage: powerful principles with eternal results. Fairfax, VA: Meridian Pub.

Goddard, H. W. (2008). Healthy Marriages: Facts and Fiction Part 2 retrieved May 31, 2017 from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-k6aY_1zDs quoting Dr. Blaine Fowers, University of Texas Professor of Counseling Psychology, Education, and Research

Jesus the Perfect Mentor, Neil A. Maxwell, (February 2001). Retrieved June 1, 2017 fromhttps://www.lds.org/ensign/2001/02/jesus-the-perfect-mentor?lang=eng

Our Perfect Example, Henry B. Eyring, October 2009, Ensign November 2009, Retrieved June 1, 2017 from https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2009/10/our-perfect-example?lang=eng

“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102. https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation?lang=eng&old=true

The Greatest Commandment, Joseph B. Wirthlin, October 2007, Ensign November 2007 Retrieved June 1, 2017, from 

 https://www.lds.org/ensign/2007/11/the-great-commandment.p1?lang=eng

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[i] boasting or bragging excessively (Dictionary.com Unabridged. Retrieved June 1, 2017 from Dictionary.com website http://www.dictionary.com/browse/vaunt).

PLAN POTENTIAL: IDEAL POSSIBLE

Happiness is a desired ideal.

An ideal is “a standard to strive toward or something considered worthy of imitation … a concept or standard of perfection, existing merely as an image in the mind, or based upon a person or upon conduct …” (Dictionary.com).

Despite media rhetoric implying otherwise,
marriage, "the union of a man and a woman"
(The Family, A Proclamation to the World),
is still a desired ideal as youth become mature adults. 

Annual surveys [i] continue to report that high schoolers plan to marry one day and that having a good marriage is “extremely important” to them. (The State of Our Unions Marriage in America 2012; President’s Marriage Agenda for the Forgotten Sixty Percent).

YES, ABSOLUTELY POSSIBLE

Is it really possible to have a happy marriage?” asked Courtney from Louisiana, USA in a  worldwide “Face to Face” event with leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. [ii]

Elder Jeffery R. Holland, a Latter-day Saint apostle, answered affirmatively, and rather emphatically:

"Let me declare unequivocally, absolutely, and adamantly that not only is there such a thing as a happy marriage, but happy marriages are the rule, not the exception. …  

"[N]ot just be happy but … ecstatically happy. … I want everybody to dismiss the idea that somehow this is a mountain that can’t be climbed, it’s a river that can’t be crossed, that there are too many difficulties to address marriage in this day or any day.
That is simply not true.

"You have to work at a marriage. Every good thing that I know of in this world you have to work at.

"God will help you. Of all the things in this world that He will help you with, He will help you with your marriages and your families, because it matters to Him at least as much as it matters to you”
(Holland, Jeffery R., 2016).

A happy marriage may require sacrifice, something good for something better, and may seem too hard if we fail to understand what is possible. Elder Richard G. Scott, also of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, adds a second testimonial to the enduring happiness of marriage:

"It is so rewarding to be married. Marriage is wonderful. In time you begin to think alike and have the same ideas and impressions. You have times when you are extremely happy, times of testing, and times of trial, but the Lord guides you through all of those growth experiences together. …I feel sorry for any man who hasn’t yet made the choice to seek an eternal companion, and my heart weeps for the sisters who haven’t had the opportunity to marry.

"Some of you may feel lonely and unappreciated and cannot see how it will be possible for you to have the blessings of marriage and children or your own family. All things are possible to the Lord, and He keeps the promises He inspires His prophets to declare. Eternity is a long time. Have faith in those promises and live to be worthy of them so that in His time the Lord can make them come true in your life. With certainty, you will receive every promised blessing for which you are worthy"(Scott, R.G., April 2011, The Eternal Blessings of Marriage).

The greatest happiness is achieved by obedience to the true principles of God’s Plan of Happiness. “With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible” (Mathew 19:26)

ALL THINGS POSSIBLE

Why sink or swim if we, like Peter, can walk on the water by having faith - really believing Jesus Christ. 

And why risk divorce, if you can be good friends? Resolve doubt with faith in this fact: “If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth” (Mark 9:23).

“Two of the vital pillars," Elder Scott clarifies, "that sustain Father in Heaven’s plan of happiness are marriage and the family. Their lofty significance is underscored by Satan’s relentless efforts to splinter the family and to undermine the significance of temple ordinances, which bind the family together for eternity”
(Scott, R.G., April 2011, The Eternal Blessings of Marriage).

Elder David A. Bednar, a third witness for the enduring nature of marriage and its part in God’s divine plan, reminds us that “The Father’s plan is designed to provide direction for His children, to help them become happy” (2006). 

REMINDER

Elder Bednar reminds of the reality of opposition to happiness by “the father of lies” as the devil attempts to make people “‘miserable like unto himself’
(2 Ne. 2:27), by distortions, and general confusion."  

"'Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose' (The Family, A Proclamation to the World)  and in large measure defines who we are, why we are here upon the earth, and what we are to do and become. For divine purposes, male and female spirits are different, distinctive, and complementary. …

"After the earth was created … God said it was “not good that the man should be alone” (Gen. 2:18; Moses 3:18), and Eve became Adam’s companion and helpmeet. 

Adam and Eve, by Jay Bryant Ward

"The unique combination of spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional capacities of both males and females were needed to implement the plan of happiness. Alone, neither the man nor the woman could fulfill the purposes of his or her creation. … The natures of male and female spirits complete and perfect each other, and therefore men and women are intended to progress together toward exaltation. …

"As we look beyond mortality and into eternity, it is easy to discern that the counterfeit alternatives the adversary advocates can never lead to the completeness that is made possible through the sealing together of a man and a woman, to the happiness of righteous marriage, to the joy of posterity, or to the blessing of eternal progression” (Bednar, June 2006). 

References:

The Eternal Blessings of Marriage - Richard G. Scott. (2011). Retrieved May 24, 2017, from 

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/the-eternal-blessings-of-marriage?lang=eng

Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan – David A. Bednar. (2006). Retrieved May 24, 2017, from https://www.lds.org/ensign/2006/06/marriage-is-essential-to-his-eternal-plan?lang=eng

Dictionary.com Unabridged. Retrieved May 24, 2017, from Dictionary.com website:
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/citation

“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,”Liahona, Oct. 2004, 49; or Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102.

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[i] Since 1976, an annual, nationally representative survey of high school seniors titled “Monitoring the Future,” conducted by the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan, has asked numerous questions about family-related topics. See http://www.monitoringthefuture.org/ and the Social Indica­tors section of this report.

[ii] August 2016, New Era: You Asked—They Answered: Marriage And Family; Adapted from Face to Face events on January 20, 2016, and March 8, 2016, and from a meeting with youth in Argentina held on February 23, 2016.

THE PLAN—HAPPINESS

Finding, and holding onto, happiness can challenge even staunch resolve.

More happiness is sought, by almost everyone.

Mosiah 4:19-20 “Are we not all beggars?  

When people are happy, they are more productive employees, so many employers provide seminars describing how to be happy. In 2013, at work, I watched a video about happiness.

Steve Achor made some wonderful suggestions.

There are dozens of other perspectives.

Something seldom mentioned, however, is asking God.
He can tell us how to find eternal happiness.

Talking to God is called prayer.

God answers prayers as the thoughts in a mind and the feelings in a heart agree. He answers to give us happiness.

He also provides answers through prophets and scripture.

In the Bible, James, an apostle of Jesus Christ taught, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”
(James 1:5,  King James Bible.)

ASK!

A generous, kind Father in Heaven promises to answer our questions, and to unerringly guide us how to find, have, and enjoy continuing happiness. His plan is for happiness.

Do you doubt God’s reality?

Ask him, “Are you real? Do you exist?”

It is a great question. He will answer you.

Remember you are talking with a loving father. He created each of us. We are his children. Remember also, that he knows all and is not deceived, so ask sincerely.

I have asked. I witness that God does exist, and that he answers his children. He wants to help us be happy.

I have also asked about my existence and purpose.

I have learned about God’s plan; a plan of mercy, resurrection, redemption, and happiness (Book of Mormon, Alma 42:16).

THE PLAN

The “Plan of Happiness” is for every human, each mortal being. It comes to mortals through Jesus Christ, God’s own begotten son. “God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him” (1 John 4:9).

Quentin L Cook, an apostle in our time, teaches that "... because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, all spirits blessed by birth will ultimately be resurrected, spirit and body reunited, and inherit kingdoms of glory that are superior to our existence here on earth."

Elder Cook's April 2009 General Conference talk is titled Our Father's Plan - Big Enough For All His Children. Truly all people (except a very, very few [i] ) will receive this gift of joyous life from Jesus Christ. We all die but we all will live again and will live in conditions "superior to our existence here on earth."

Those conditions will be mostly of our own choosing. We make choices here on earth about that happiness and what we desire, and there we will live with all the joy we truly desire. Even those that are NOT always completely obedient[ii] to God, here in mortality, will eventually have a place of glory there greater than this earth!

Amazing!!

Each of us will live after death as the scriptures and prophets teach. There is hope and happiness for every one of us. We can not begin to comprehend this promise of happiness and exceeding joy.

Do we realize the hope for the REALITY of enduring happiness?

God made the universe, this world, and our first parents, Adam and Eve. He made them to be together, and commanded them to remain together. Marriage, a man and a woman raising a family together, was created and defined by God. It is an essential part of enduring happiness.

The Introduction, Nathan Greene

“Marriage … is ordained of God”
(The Family, A Proclamation to the World).

God wants us to be happy. He tells us how to increase happiness, and have more lasting joy. Like most opportunities with enticing potential, this greater promise has conditions to be met and penalties to be avoided.

When a man and a woman are united in marriage as God commanded, the blessings promised are exponentially more than is possible in any other way.

“Perfect Love Casteth Out Fear,” an April 2017 general conference talk explains God’s mercy and love:

“The more I come to know my Heavenly Father, the more I see how He inspires and leads His children. He is not angry, vengeful, or retaliatory.[iii] His very purpose—His work and His glory—is to mentor us, exalt us, and lead us to His fulness.[iv]

(Christ) Rescue of the Lost Lamb, by Minerva K. Teichert (video: Parable of the Lost Sheep)

"God described Himself to Moses as 'merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth.'[v]

"Our Father in Heaven’s love for us, His children, surpasses by far our ability to comprehend.[vi]

"Does this mean that God condones or overlooks behaviors that run contrary to His commands? No, definitely not!

"But He wants to change more than just our behaviors. He wants to change our very natures. He wants to change our hearts.

"He wants us to reach out and take firm hold of the iron rod [his word], confront our fears, and bravely step forward and upward along the strait and narrow path. He wants this for us because He loves us and because this is the way to happiness.

"So, how does God motivate His children to follow Him in our day?

"He sent His Son!"(President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, April 2017).

"The Prophet Isaiah Foretells Christ's Birth" by Harry Anderson.

"God sent His Only Begotten Son, Jesus Christ, to show us the right way.

“God motivates through persuasion, long-suffering, gentleness, meekness, and love unfeigned.[vii] God is on our side. He loves us, and when we stumble, He wants us to rise up, try again, and become stronger. . . .

“ 'God knows you perfectly. He loves you perfectly. He knows what your future holds. He wants you to 'be not afraid, only believe'[viii] and 'abide in his [perfect] love'[ix] (President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, April 2017).

He has a plan. His plan is for ALL of his children to be happy.


     [i] Doctrine and Covenants 76:32-37
     [ii]Doctrine and Covenants 76: 81-86
     [iii] On one occasion, the Savior wanted to enter a village of the Samaritans, but the people rejected Jesus and would not receive Him into their village. Two of His disciples were deeply offended by this and asked, “Lord, do You want us to command fire to come down from heaven and consume them?” Jesus answered with this caution: “You do not know what manner of spirit you are of. For the Son of Man did not come to destroy men’s lives but to save them” (see Luke 9:51–56, New King James Version [1982]).
     [iv] See Moses 1:39; see also Ephesians 3:19.
     [v] Exodus 34:6.
     [vi] See Ephesians 3:19.
     [vii] See Doctrine and Covenants 121:41. Surely if God expects us, His mortal children, to behave this way toward each other, He—a perfect being possessed of every virtue—would be the model for such behavior.
     [viii] Mark 5:36
     [ix] John 15:10.

ONE VOICE: LOST IN CHORUS

Supreme Court, Wikipedia

NOTE: Majority as referenced in dissents below refers to five Supreme Court judges who have ruled, in a divided court, in favor of Obergefell v. Hodges. No. 14–556. Argued April 28, 2015—Decided June 26, 2015*

Roberts Supreme Court, Wikipedia

In October 2014 term, on 26 June 2015, five judges of the Supreme Court of the United States of America ruled that “the State laws challenged by Petitioners . . . are now held invalid to the extent they exclude same-sex couples from civil marriage on the same terms and conditions as opposite-sex couples” ( p.23) … and that, “same sex couples may exercise the fundamental right to marry in all States” (p.28).

I disagree with these rulings.

I am one voice, only one …in an undiminished chorus of voices.

The Authority of the Law statue, Supreme Court Building

My grandmother, Elna Bohne Campbell, sang in a church choir. My mother begged to go with her and sing too. She loves to sing, but could not join the choir before she became the required age of nine. Rules have reason, and provide order.

Elna Bohne Campbell

I remember mother singing. She knows all the words to almost all the hymns and many folk songs. She taught us, her 10 children, to sing – together. One child had a quiet voice and retiring personality. My voice is naturally loud! It can be easily heard without a microphone – when I whisper.

My mother, as an older child

Each of us is a bit different.

Chief Justice John G. Roberts

So too are the opinions of the voices
     . . . on all sides of this issue.

Many, many other voices are similar to mine.

How many? According to the Chief Justice C. J. Roberts of the U.S. Supreme Court, “tens of millions of people who voted to reaffirm their States’ enduring definition of marriage” (Roberts, C.J., dissenting; 576 U.S. ___ 2015; p. 28).

I blend my voice with theirs. We dissent.

Our voices join four of the nine Supreme Court judges who dissented in our behalf. (See quotes below).

ALL — TOGETHER

Our family often sang together. Mom and Dad taught that every voice should be able to be heard. I needed both their voices.

From them, we learned that every person is of value; each deserves kindness and respect. I learned to modulate my voice so that it was part of the whole. These practices bound us together. It built something otherwise impossible to achieve.

If one voice in a choir fails to blend with surrounding voices, all may notice and hear that voice. It may seem dominant, but is merely out of harmony. It sets itself apart, but not in desirable ways.

If it continues unabated, oblivious to the rest of the chorus, or the harmonies of the choir, it is destructive to self and to the whole. Every voice is needed, and each must learn how to contribute—each to be part of the whole.

All voices have rights. I have rights! Your rights do not negate mine, and mine do not negate yours, and neither of our voices negate the rights or needs of coming generations. Every child needs both biological parents.

WHOLE CHORUS OF PARTS

We are all a single chorus, the chorus of humanity, and must learn to sing together.

It is, always, a sorry day when men and women require legislatures and courts to instruct them regarding kindness, respect, or other social graces. Judges and politicians then force divergent opinions to be imposed for almost everyone.

When I feel all is lost, and perhaps alone, one of my favorite songs learned from my mother, helps me remember to look forward with good cheer.

SING YOUR WAY HOME

Sing your way home
At the close of the day...
Sing your way home,
Drive the shadows away.
Smile every mile
For wherever you roam
It will brighten your road,
It will lighten your load,
If you sing your way home.

We can learn to sing together.

Dissents from:

“JUSTICE [SAMUEL A] ALITO,

with whom JUSTICE SCALIA and JUSTICE THOMAS join, dissenting.

“Today’s decision [26 June 2015] shows that decades of attempts to restrain [the Supreme] Court’s abuse of its authority have failed. A lesson . . . it evidences is the deep and perhaps irremediable corruption of our legal culture’s conception of constitutional interpretation.

“Most Americans—understandably—will cheer or lament today’s decision because of their views on the issue . . . . But all Americans, whatever their thinking on that issue, should worry about what the majority's claim of power portends”(Alito, J., dissenting; 576 U.S.___ 2015; pp.7-8;).

“JUSTICE [CLARENCE] THOMAS,

  with whom JUSTICE SCALIA joins, dissenting.

“The majority’s decision today [26 June 2015]. . . distorts the constitutional text, which guarantees only whatever ‘process’ is ‘due’ before a person is deprived of life, liberty, and property. Worse, it invites judges to do exactly what the majority has done here—‘“roa[m] at large in the constitutional field” guided only by their personal views’ as to the ‘“fundamental rights”’ protected by that document.  By straying from the text of the Constitution, substantive due process exalts judges at the expense of the People from whom they derive their authority.

“Petitioners . . . ask nine judges on this Court to enshrine their definition of marriage in the Federal Constitution and thus put it beyond the reach of the normal democratic process for the entire Nation. That a 'bare majority' of this Court, ante, at 25, is able to grant this wish, wiping out with a stroke of the keyboard the results of the political process in over 30 States, based on a provision that guarantees only 'due process' is but further evidence of the danger of substantive due process” (Thomas, J., dissenting; 576 U.S. ___ 2015; pp. 2-3).

“JUSTICE [ANTONIN] SCALIA,

with whom JUSTICE THOMAS joins, dissenting.

“I join THE CHIEF JUSTICE’s opinion in full. I write separately to call attention to this Court’s threat to American democracy. . . .[I]t is not of special importance to me what the law says about marriage. It is of overwhelming importance, however, who it is that rules me. Today’s decree [26 June 2015] says that my Ruler, and the Ruler of 320 million Americans coast-to-coast, is a majority of the nine lawyers on the Supreme Court. The opinion in these cases is the furthest extension in fact—and the furthest extension one can even imagine—of the Court’s claimed power to create ‘liberties’ that the Constitution and its Amendments neglect to mention. This practice of constitutional revision by an unelected committee of nine, always accompanied (as it is today) by extravagant praise of liberty, robs the People of the most important liberty they asserted in the Declaration of Independence and won in the Revolution of 1776: the freedom to govern themselves. . . . This is a naked judicial claim to legislative—indeed, super-legislative—power; (Scalia, J., dissenting; 576 U.S.___ 2015; pp.1-5). 

“[W]hat really astounds is the hubris[i] reflected in today’s judicial Putsch[ii]  . The five Justices who compose today’s majority are entirely comfortable concluding that . . .[t]hey have discovered in the Fourteenth Amendment a ‘fundamental right’ overlooked by every person alive at the time of ratification, and almost everyone else in the time since” (Scalia, J., dissenting; 576 U.S. ___ 2015; pp.6-7).

“CHIEF JUSTICE [JOHN G] ROBERTS,

with whom JUSTICE SCALIA and JUSTICE THOMAS join, dissenting.

“Under the Constitution, judges have power to say what the law is, not what it should be. The people who ratified the Constitution authorized courts to exercise ‘neither force nor will but merely judgment.’ . . . The majority’s decision is an act of will, not legal judgment. The right it announces has no basis in the Constitution or this Court’s precedent. … It seizes for itself a question the Constitution leaves to the people, at a time when the people are engaged in a vibrant debate on that question. And it answers that question based not on neutral principles of constitutional law, but on its own ‘understanding of what freedom is and must become.’” Ante, at 19 (Roberts, C. J., dissenting; 576 U.S. ___ 2015; pp. 2-3)

“Our cases have consistently refused to allow litigants to convert the shield provided by constitutional liberties into a sword to demand positive entitlements from the State. . . . The Court’s accumulation of power does not occur in a vacuum. It comes at the expense of the people. And they know it” (Roberts, C. J., dissenting; 576 U.S. ___ 2015; p. 18).

“When decisions are reached through democratic means, some people will inevitably be disappointed with the results. But those whose views do not prevail at least know that they have had their say, and accordingly are—in the tradition of our political culture—reconciled to the result of a fair and honest debate. In addition, they can gear up to raise the issue later, hoping to persuade enough on the winning side to think again. ‘That is exactly how our system of government is supposed to work.’ Post, at 2–3 (SCALIA, J., dissenting)” (Roberts, C. J., dissenting; 576 U.S. ___ 2015; p. 26).

“But today the Court puts a stop to all that. By deciding this question under the Constitution, the Court removes it from the realm of democratic decision. . . . Federal courts are blunt instruments when it comes to creating rights. They have constitutional power only to resolve concrete cases or controversies; they do not have the flexibility of legislatures to address concerns of parties not before the court or to anticipate problems that may arise from the exercise of a new right” (Roberts, C.J., dissenting; 576 U.S. ___ 2015; pp. 26-27).

“Perhaps the most discouraging aspect of today’s decision is the extent to which the majority feels compelled to sully those on the other side of the debate. . . . The majority reiterates such characterizations over and over . . . to portray everyone who does not share the majority’s ‘better informed understanding’ as bigoted. Ante, at 19” (Roberts, C.J., dissenting; 576 U.S. ___ 2015; pp. 27-28).

*Decisions in conjunction with three other cases also on certiorari^[iii] to the same court.

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[i] hubris: contemptuous, wanton insolence

[ii] judicial Putsch: a suddenly executed overthrow

[iii] certiorari: request to higher court from lower courts claiming injustice