COWS

I have been traveling again -
same road, more boredom, more cows.
Mostly black cows.

My friend Nancy made me laugh.
Apparently among the Navajo people of Arizona
a standard goodbye involves black cows.

 I love it!

This trip provided more food for thought.
I promise it isn't as long as my last cow diatribe -
 I have to finish washing out ink.

We were just driving along in the zoned out mode with scenery passing - one field after another - a herd here, a herd there, every now and again strays or singles not in a herd ...
pretty much same, same - yawwwnnn.

Then there was this one Holstein cow. JUST ONE.

The thing that made this cow stand out was that she was in the middle of a herd of Black Angus. Not only did her bony hips jut taller than the surrounding cattle but she was mostly white. You've heard of standing out in a crowd? she stood out in the herd.  My husband (driving) even woke up enough to notice it at the same time. She was very different.

It got me thinking.

Holsteins are mostly known as dairy cattle for their super ability to produce an abundance of milk, yet because of their great size may also be used for beef.

Angus are known for beef production - especially known as tasty beef, yet they also produce milk, although less of it generally for shorter periods of time.

Sometimes (and we may be so zoned out we don't notice) there is an abundance of one thing, all around us, all the same. Maybe, sometimes, being different could be a very good thing. True it makes one stand out, but where would we be if we only had meat, not milk? or milk and not meat?

Milk vs meat - sometimes I need the simplest things - the beginnings.

Simplicity. Starting like a baby on milk.

What (I wondered) is the most basic and simple thing missing for most of us? For me?

At my daughter's, my grandson begged me to read some books written by Max Lucado. He especially liked the one about wooden people labeled with gold stars and grey dots (I think it was titled 'You Are Special').  One girl was different - she had neither dots or stars.  She went to see her maker and talk with him every day.

I think that is a good starting place:
talking with my maker everyday -
getting rid of my stars and dots,
 my pride and my prejudice, (and that of others)
 and restoring the surety that I was created by him
and that he made me the way I am -

so I can be different!

LIKE A WEED

Bishop Redford called to talk with me near the end of March 2008. He said Heavenly Father wanted me to serve as Relief Society President in 5^th Ward. I was dumbfounded! Why me??

I knew the call came from Heavenly Father because for several months I had many impressions that I would be called – I just completely, absolutely rejected the whole idea.  One weekend during another  ‘discussion’ with God about my ability (or lack there of) I had a specific impression that what young mothers need most to know is that they are loved, and that they are not failures but in fact very successful  and that Heavenly Father loves each one of them very much.  I thought, “Sure I can do that. I can tell them that and try to help them with the incredible burdens they are expected to carry.” Bishop Redford called within the week.

I still wrestled with being expected to represent the beautiful, clever and wise women I knew – so many of them so much younger and working while raising young families.  The first week of April just before my call I went to the temple, simple right? Not for me – or rather it was simple actually – for me these things are always TOO simple. I seem to expect the miraculous or astounding. I get simple. I think most of us do.  Perhaps we pass over simple.

Despite spending a bit of time pondering and considering (both before and after attending) I felt nothing.  My mind did not feel relieved, or enlightened.  I left the temple feeling disappointed but decided to at least walk about seeing the grounds before driving 2 hours home. 

  

I have often experienced such feelings. In the culture of the church many, many stories are published and recounted to illustrate how individuals receive comfort, enlightenment, or confirmation in spiritually uplifting ways – especially when they fast – or pray – or go to the temple.  I hear very few stories that speak of experiences that are so simple or ordinary that they easily pass unnoticed. 

The day was sunny but not too warm.  Bees buzzed, flowering trees trailed blooms near the walks and a light breeze stirred the leaves of shrubs and nodded the bright blooms of spring bulbs. As I walked along immaculate flower beds behind the temple I marveled again and again at how carefully everything was planned and maintained.  ‘Of course,’ I thought, ‘every detail should be practically perfect here.’

I was considering how I could possibly stand up in front of Relief Society or lead out when I saw the dandelion; as yellow as the sun itself; set as if deliberately cultured to showcase its color, right in the center of a large clump of fragrant purple blooms.  

There were many such drifts of purple in varying shades. There was only one dandelion. I knew I was like that dandelion.  If left to bloom it would seed and spread and make many more as beautiful as it was – and it was beautiful.  Despite its reputation as a serious weed I knew that it was in that place, at that time, to show me that even a despised weed can be beautiful and is one of Heavenly Father’s creations. I took a picture with my cell phone.

I have thought much about dandelions since that day. Their roots can go very deep to open and enrich depleted, poor soil.  They are almost impossible to get rid of - we hate them, but we love them too.  They do have a beautiful flower.  Most parents - and certainly every mother - (and many a lover) have tender tales that pivot on the simple ubiquity of dandelions - we have all seen them lining roadsides and covering meadows or lawns. (BTW - I promise I do NOT deliberately spread these invasive weeds. We are quite diligent to help rid our neighborhood of them.)

My husband’s mother had an old vase she used for her dandelion bouquets. I now use it for mine. And I cherish a hope that maybe; just perhaps, I spread a few seeds during the 2 years I served as RS President.  If one person learned or remembers that they are one of God’s creations, and that he loves them just as they are in spite of what anyone else believes or thinks about them my time of service will have been spent well.

 I also cherish the hope that, like dandelions, those seeds of hope and wonder will spread, put down deep roots to enrich even the most careless or barren of soils - and bloom.

by the side of the road there IS NOT just one - there are millions - no kazillions ....

            

COWS - a diatribe

Long automobile trips are often tediously boring. When I have too much time I think – a lot.

After several monotonous hours of the same rocky dirt and gray green sagebrush a cow was a welcome interesting relief – visually and mentally. I began to watch for more: surely there is more than one lone cow along such a long road. I was rewarded. There were many cows to observe - not that there was much to observe.

What does a cow do?

Cows may be many different colors but not like a rainbow. Cows are generally tones and patches of black and white and a variety of browns shading through reds to every earth tone I have ever imagined. They are the source of many common and useful products such as milk, meat, leather, glue and – well - really, too many more things to list. Even the wastes cows produce are useful to grow verdant crops and gardens.

But what do they do; really - day in, day out - besides exist? 

Every cow I ever see is doing one of a few simple things: standing - chewing a cud or grazing; walking or running - nowhere in particular, for no reason in particular other than perhaps curiosity (except when being chased or seeking food and water) or else lowing – emitting that typical moo moo sound cows make, that occasionally might become loud and insistent enough to be described by my father as bellering. On the farm we saw many cow personalities - some placid, some feisty but most still fit my question. I remember one that didn't. She was a fence hopper. She spent every day hopping fences. Dad tried many tricks to keep her safe but eventually she 'went to a sale' - became 'beef'.

I ruminated upon this concept for a time and it generated a question to alleviate boredom: what do I do?

Now there is a question – am I, as a woman, much different than a cow?

Do I squander my time like a cow in a field chewing her cud and my energy running away from, or to see, curiosities? Am I just to be looked at or am I just making fat – beefing up (or trying to avoid it)? Is my existence of more value than my ‘meat’ - my physical body - or the making of milk, babies or other useful products?

(Men you are not off the hook either. Don’t feel like you don’t qualify as “beef” or at least ‘bull-oney’ – snicker – come on, laugh at yourself. At least cows have high production rates not to mention self replacement value and - BTW – do you let your wife know she is accomplishing more in life than a cow? is worth more in your life? means more to you than the money she earns, the dishes and clothes she washes and the children you share? Does the woman in your life know she is more than a cow?)

I have answers to many of my questions, yet I do measure myself against them.

I am a daughter of God - all women are, so are all men - a child of the Supreme Being Himself and His wife.

My father has many talents and abilities. I have inherited some abilities from him and I have learned many wise and wonderful things from him. What am I capable of learning as a child of God? I can only imagine what I might have inherited or be able to learn from my Father in Heaven. 

I have more going for me than any cow: much more than a drudgery of days – day in, day out - so do you! God loves each and every one of us individually, uniquely and personally. We ARE his children.

I became invigorated to do something more each day than eating and mooing. I became determined to try to avoid things that make me feel like a cow – determined to participate in purposeful engaging productive, planned activity every day.

At a CES Fireside for Young Adults, 3 May 2009 David A. Bednar (also see June 2010 Ensign, pg 22-31) spoke at length about ‘Things As They Really Are’ and appropriate use of our time and physical being and cautioned, “We need to heed the admonition of Paul: “That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour” (1 Thessalonians 4:4).

At milking time each cow has a stanchion the locks about her head and holds her in one place. The cow usually will be given hay and/or grain (a treat for cows) while in the stanchion and eat quietly while being milked.  Most cows are creatures of habits to the extent that if a new cow enters another’s place the ensuing chaos almost brings the barn down.  Every farmer knows tricks to train a cow into a new habit (often using feed or calves).

At feeding time cows are greedy and will trample each other and their food unless guided and restrained. If routines do not occur in precise and predictable patterns at accustomed times a cow can become very upset and moo incessantly. I have to ask myself, “Do I constantly moo for moooorree?get upset with change or am I grateful for the blessings I have?"

My habits can build and lift or destroy – me and those about me. I can make excuses and complain about the things that limit me or I can seek out ways to contribute.  I once heard a family history story of an old man in his 90’s that was physically unable to work long strenuous hours as he had done all his life. He sat near a forge and made nails. In that era nails were not machine produced but rather hammered out of scrap metal one at a time. In this way he could still contribute to the family and make productive use of his time.

I wrote the following on my mirror: ‘Don’t let the things you can’t do interfere with the things you CAN!”

I still ask myself, “What does a cow do all day?”

I also ask myself, “What do I do?”