REMEMBERING WAR

The Vietnam war is so highly controversial that even yet many veterans of that war are seldom honored. In 1982 a memorial to those that served their country in that war was erected in Washington D.C. It has become a cultural icon.

1982 dedication of Vietnam War Memorial

 History and its ongoing documentation diverges, sometimes does not perfectly agree as it evolves, and is readily found.

We choose to remember and honor the men and women patriots that made difficult choices in a difficult time, though historical controversy continues.

Ken Shelton circa 1967

One of those men, is Papa's first cousin Ken, the son of a brother (Herman) of Papa's mother, Katherine Shelton Ames. The Shelton family sent several cousins to Vietnam.

Ken's brother Dan Shelton served in the Air-force. Although he did not see active fighting he was transferred many places including Texas and Japan.

Robert (Bobby) Shelton,Third Class Ordnanceman front row: 2nd from left.
Taken at aircraft maintenance area (Sangley Point, PI) circa: early 1960s.
VNVP-40 Crew 3 flying P5M Marlin Seaplanes out of Sangley Point, PI,
Conson Island, VN, Kamron Bay, VN and the waters off Danang, VN

Their cousin Bobby Shelton served in the US Navy. He is the son of another brother to Katherine Shelton Ames, Gibb. Gibb was a World War II hero.

Robert Lee Shelton

We honor them all, but today we focus our gratitude toward Ken Shelton.

At Papa's request Ken agreed to be the subject for this 'guest post,' and came for lunch yesterday. Papa's transcription follows. Although Ken did share some of the atrocities and horrors of war we decided to not honor those. This is not to minimize in any way the magnitude of those events. Our choice is instead to focus on and honor Ken's resilience and enduring fortitude. Thank you Cousin Ken for your military service.

Many thanks to Ken's daughter Rachel, and his sister Patricia (Mike) Erdmann, for providing some pictures.

Papa: "I used to enjoy visiting my cousin Ken [Shelton] and listen to him tell stories about being a cook in the army. I called him up the other day and he agreed to come over and tell me some more stories. Some of the stories emphasize that war is a dangerous place to be and that soldiers have hard job to do. I appreciate hearing those stories. I thanked him for living through them. He also told me some stories which were a bit more humorous – stories which should be shared: 

 
The Fastest Bread-Cutter in the World

"Cousin Ken tells that in Vietnam the army had bakeries which would send bread out to the soldiers. The bread wasn’t sliced when they got it, 'so you had to slice all bread by hand.' It came in two foot long loaves. Ken claims that at home he cut bread so poorly that he would get in trouble for the way he did it. He could cut it no better in the army. The loaves had to be cut into army regulation half inch slices.

"His commander gave him the assignment to slice bread for 150 soldiers. Kens explained that he couldn’t cut bread but the commander told him that he was going to slice bread.

"Ken did slice the bread. It took him 3 hours. His commander came to him saying that the other cooks had reported that he had not helped cook at all. 'Well, I was slicing bread; I told you I couldn’t cut bread' 

“'Well, you will cut bread until you know how.'

"Ken returned to the task of cutting bread. While cutting he stopped and considered, 'Maybe it’s the knife.' He sharpened the knife so that 'it was so sharp it could slice through anything. It was so sharp I could shave with it.' He also reshaped it. With the sharpened, reshaped knife – and practice, he was finally able to slice bread for 150 men in six and a half minutes—the same amount of bread that had taken him 3 hours on the first try.

"After that, when Ken was cutting bread men would stop to watch. One day he saw the LDS chaplain (or non-denominational chaplain who happened to be LDS)* watching him. 'What are you doing here?' Ken asked. 

"'I came to watch you cut bread. They told me you were the fastest and it is true. You are the fastest bread cutter in the world.'

Ken Shelton 1967

Lighting the Stove.

"Cooking had its own challenges. Ken would get up at 3 am and prepared breakfast in the dark. He fueled up and pressurized the burners for the stove from the truck's compressors. When the burner was ready he stacked 5-gallon water cans two high around his stove and then he would lie on the ground to light the burner. The bright flash of yellow light from the flame could be seen for miles. He stayed on the ground until the flames got hotter and turned blue, then stuck the burner in the stove and started cooking biscuits. He says, 'Sometimes the men got biscuits for breakfast.' Ken explains that the blue light cannot be seen very far and he was safe until the sun started coming up and made a silhouette of him. It was usually at that time of day he would be shot at. Sometimes the enemy would shoot at him a couple times in a day, sometimes only once in a couple days.

"A fellow soldier, on the last day of his tour, was concerned that Ken had become too used to getting shot at. They were sitting on a water can talking. There were a bunch of 'four duces' (4.2 inch mortars) right behind his mess tent. 'They all fired in unison so you had no warning.... When those four duces went off his feet went about six inches off the ground.'

Vietnam era mortar

"Ken says when he settled down the soldier said, 'Oh that makes me really sad.' 

 “'Why's that?' asked Ken.  

“'Cause you’re not going to make it.  You didn’t even flinch.'  

“'That was outgoing,' explained Ken. 'When it’s incoming you've never seen anyone move as fast in your life as I’m going to move.”
  

“'No, you’re not going to make it,' answered the soldier.

"Later that night they were sitting on top of the captain’s bunker watching an air to ground fire fight on the next hill.  There were about seven helicopters in the air.  Ken said it was beautiful to see the tracer rounds going up and coming down.   He says, 'Immediately below this hill we were looking as a sniper shot at us…. We saw all the tracer rounds come out of his gun…. As soon as I saw the tracer rounds coming out of that guy’s barrel I started to roll to the left and down.'  He was already lying on the ground as a bullet went past the other soldier's head.   He landed on the ground next to Ken.  As soon as the adrenaline settled down enough for him to talk Ken asked, 'was that fast enough for ya’?'

“'I think you’re going to make it,' the other soldier replied.

"I guess he did.

"Thanks cousin.  You’re a hero!"

* The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS) provides many resources to its members in military organizations. In May 2003 President Gordon B Hinckley provided counsel, comfort, and guidance to members about military service, in his talk "War and Peace." 

Spider Rain

UHGGGG!!

I have never been a fan of spiders.

Spiders are my least favorite part of where I live.

Therefore, image how I feel when late afternoon sun reveals how many live on my lawn! Now stop.

 Go ahead. Click the picture, enlarge so you can look closely.

I don't want anyone to be traumatized.
As for me, well - I don't even want to leave my house.
If there are this many spinning spiders outside, why go out?
And you can only see them when the sun is just so!

However, I now have seen what's out there.

With my own eyes.

And it is NOT in one spot only.

It is everywhere!!

Indeed, I have known fall is when spiders fly: kiting is what I have heard it called. It is also when their webs dangle from every upright. Sometimes when you walk outside you will cross a fine web and feel it brush your face or hand. USUALLY it is just a strand of web here or there. This time my entire yard has a sheen almost like a very light blanket. I've never before seen this with my own eyes. Thanks Papa for the picture.

It is actually called ballooning, and is common enough that the poet Walt Whitman wrote a poem about it. A few web searches (no pun intended) led me to this fascinating video describing the process. It mentions it often occurs with a change in the weather. Yes, our weather changed. We are almost always dry, and we had slight rains.

I tolerate rain decently.

 'Spider rain' is, however, entirely different.

PARENTING 101

OVERHEARD

I heard what you said.

You, the woman standing 5 feet on my right in the narrow store aisle, talking to the woman 10 feet to my left blocking the end of the same aisle with her cart and 2 kids.

You also had a child with you.
She clung tightly to your hand.

I couldn't help hearing you.
You were loud!

I quote, "I see you're stuck too." I looked. She didn't look stuck or unhappy to me. "I'm stuck with bringing her with me. I couldn't get rid of her. The other kids are at school, but I'm stuck with her. I just couldn't get rid of her."

How did that clinging child feel?

I was talking to my mother last night. I asked her if getting married or having kids was a big change for her. She told me how she loved to go babysitting when she was young because she loved kids so much. I don't think she ever felt 'stuck.'

Jean Campbell about age 17
with children she helped care for.

Mom said they both had their work and they just kept on working after they were married so not much was different except they could be together. Her work was helping to care for a family with children.

What changed was she could have her own children.

She said she loved having her kids, and it was something she always wanted. She also talked a lot about how she loved being with her kids - all of them - all 10 of us as well as a foster child that came to live with us during the school year when he was about 10 years old.

Jean Campbell Forsyth with her first 7 children abt 1958.
We were visiting her mother and this photo is taken in the front yard. 

Mom told me that every mother has their own way of caring for a child and every child needs their own unique care. She said she learned a lot from all the mothers she helped.

I thanked mother for never making me feel like a nuisance and for loving an ornery kid like me. She seemed genuinely surprised.

"I never though my kids were a nuisance! I never thought you were ornery,"she said. "I never thought any of my kids were ornery."

"I loved being with my kids."

Forsyth family about 1963

I think she did.
I never felt like an unwanted nuisance.
I never felt abused, or neglected, poor or underprivileged.

Amazing how she forgets all the stupidity of all of us.
 How she cherishes being a mother.

I think she has the key to parenting.
She knew the most basic of basic concepts.
She loved having kids, and being with kids.

Her husband and family were everything to her.

They are still.
I think they always will be.

MENTORING: SEEING CHOICES

16 October 2015

I am holding summer tightly as the fresh nights cool and slow the garden and yard. The porch pots trail long, and the roses out front burgeon in showy splendor. 

It hasn’t frozen yet, though leaves are turning and the Virginia Creeper over the fence is brilliant red.

This week has been busy: homework to hand in, produce to pick and preserve, appointments to endure, and meetings to manage. Autumn’s nostalgic cues trigger longings I don’t even begin to understand—yet they seem innate to my being and the season. I was born in October. 

Our background and environment (in the past as well as every day) clearly influence our life roles, our motives and decisions, and the way we interact with the world and people around us; even our aspirations and hopes. 

If I am a gardener I hope the frost holds off until the tomatoes are harvested, and, can I get just one more cucumber? 

I know the seasonal nuances that announce change, having learned them from my parents who learned them from their parents. They depended on the garden for food. Even if I never garden I still know the softness of the air preceding a snow. 

I have walked and worked with many knowing mentors. Precept and example taught what they valued; I heard their words and saw their choices.  

So it is with our families, our marriages, and our most cherished interpersonal relationships. The past, for generations, contributes culture and expectations. 

Some expectations are like Fall. We can’t even explain them—they are instinctively part of our intrinsic outlooks and attitudes. 

Are the attitudes good or bad? 

Usually neither, but agency and choices may turn them either way—to our benefit and joy or to our detriment, and that of the future.

The Gospel of Jesus Christ provides patterns of identity as sons and daughters of divine beings; a father and a mother with purpose and a plan for joy. 

Scriptures and living prophets outline ideals. 

And each of us finds our own way to arrive as near or far from those ideals as we wish. 

Increasing clamor to conform to more secular standards tests our sincerity. 

Will the next generation know their divine birthright?

Can we model and mentor? 

HELLO BEAUTIFUL!

My father often greets me with "Hello, beautiful."

Even when he can't see me.
I bet you've heard him answer the phone, "Hi good looking!"

And he means it. He sees all people as beautiful. He sees them each as a wonderful creation and child of God, an Eternal Father.

I have heard it so much that it has become second nature and habit.

Recently I said it, in an automatic kind of way, to a young adult. She asked me why I said that.

I was caught off guard. Why did I say it? Is it just a habit? Or do I believe it? She had recently delivered her first baby. I looked her straight in the eye and truthfully, with all the conviction of my heart replied, "Because you are."

I wish every child could know they are beautiful.
I wish every person might know how beautiful they are.

I am so grateful for the example of my loving parents.

My mother taught me that I can be happy the way I am.

She couldn't wear lipstick and other makeup. The few times she tried she got painful sores on her skin and mouth. She decided to never put it on again. She taught me that Heavenly Father made me the way I am and I should never be ashamed of the way I look.

She taught me to never do anything to myself and my body that hurts.

One day a child pushed on her ample stomach and rudely said, "Why are you so fat?"

She laughed and said, "Because I am happy."

I have thought of that many times since then. She WAS happy. And she didn't let what other people thought of her outward appearance keep her down for long. Sure she wanted others to see her beauty - don't we all? AND she set a powerful example of being happy the way she was.

My father often told her she was beautiful - and even more often he said, "hey good looking!

That can be said to anyone.

My choice parents have influenced my thoughts and habits.

Hey, good looking - you know you are - right?

O CANADA

Happy Dominion Day, fellow Canadians.

Here's a tiny bit of history  trivia courtesy of my daughter,  Kimber, AKA Mrs. Lybbert. This morning she composed a pop quiz for her Advandced Placement [AP] Conference classmates. She asked, “ What popular early twentieth century song, written by a teacher and quoting Tennyson, will be sung by millions of people today?

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

"O Canada" is the national anthem of Canada. The song was originally commissioned by Lieutenant Governor of Quebec Théodore Robitaille for the 1880 Saint-Jean-Baptiste Day ceremony; Calixa Lavallée composed the music, after which words were written by the poet and judge Sir Adolphe-Basile Routhier (May 8, 1839 – June 27, 1920), whose occupation was lawyer, author, judge, and professor.

Sir Adolphe-Basile Routhier was a Canadian judge, author, and lyricist . He wrote the lyrics of the original French version of the Canadian national anthem O Canada. He was born in Saint-Placide, Quebec, to Charles Routhier and Angélique Lafleur.

Official French

Ô Canada!
Terre de nos aïeux,

Ton front est ceint de fleurons glorieux!

Car ton bras sait porter l'épée,

Il sait porter la croix!

Ton histoire est une épopée

Des plus brillants exploits.

Et ta valeur, de foi trempée,

Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.

Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.

Translation of French:

O Canada!

Land of our forefathers,

Thy brow is wreathed with a glorious garland of flowers.

As is thy arm ready to wield the sword,

So also is it ready to carry the cross.

Thy history is an epic

Of the most brilliant exploits.

Thy valour steeped in faith

Will protect our homes and our rights.

Will protect our homes and our rights.

Source Wikipedia

The lyrics were originally in French and an English version was created in 1906. Robert Stanley Weir wrote in 1908 another English version, which is the official and most popular version, one that is not a literal translation of the French. Weir's lyrics have been revised twice, taking their present form in 1980, but the French lyrics remain unaltered. "O Canada" had served as a de facto national anthem since 1939, officially becoming Canada's national anthem in 1980 when the Act of Parliament making it so received Royal Assent and became effective on July 1 as part of that year's Dominion Day celebrations.

It has been noted that the opening theme of "O Canada" bears a strong resemblance to the "March of the Priests" from the opera The Magic Flute, composed in 1791 by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. The line "The True North strong and free" is based on the Lord Tennyson's description of Canada as "that true North, whereof we lately heard / A strain to shame us". In the context of Tennyson's poem To the Queen, the word true means "loyal" or "faithful".

"To the Queen" Alfred Tennyson, 1809-1892

O LOYAL to the royal in thyself,
And loyal to thy land, as this to thee--
Bear witness, that rememberable day,
When, pale as yet, and fever-worn, the Prince
Who scarce had pluck'd his flickering life again
From halfway down the shadow of the grave,
Past with thee thro' thy people and their love,
And London roll'd one tide of joy thro'all
Her trebled millions, and loud leages of man
And welcome! witness, too, the silent cry,                10
The prayer of many a race and creed, and clime--
Thunderless lightnings striking under sea
From sunset and sunrise of all thy realm,
And that true North, whereof we lately heard
A strain to shame us 'keep you to yourselves;
So loyal is too costly! friends--your love
Is but a burthen: loose the bond, and go.'
Is this the tone of empire? here the faith
That made us rulers? this, indeed, her voice
And meaning, whom the roar of Hougoumont         20
Left mightiest of all peoples under heaven?
What shock has fool'd her since, that she should speak
So feebly? wealther--wealthier--hour by hour!
The voice of Britain, or a sinking land,
Some third-rate isle half-lost among her seas?
There rang her voice, when the full city peal'd
Thee and thy Prince! The loyal to their crown
Are loyal to their own far sons, who love
Our ocean-empire with her boundless homes
For ever-broadening England, and her throne          30
In our vast Orient, and one isle, one isle,
That knows not her own greatness: if she knows
And dreads it we are fall'n.--But thous, my Queen,
Not for itslef, but thro' thy living love
For one to whom I made it o'er his grave
Sacred, accept this old imperfect tale,
New-old, and shadowing Sense at war with Soul
Rather than that gray king, whose name, a ghost,
Streams like a cloud, man-shaped, from mountain peak,
And cleaves and cromlech still; or him                    40
Of Geoffrey's book, or him of Malleor's one
Touch'd by the adulterous finger of a time
That hover'd between war and wantonness,
And crownings and dethronements: take withal
Thy poet's blessing, and his trust that Heaven
Will blow the tempest in the distance back
From thine and ours: for some are scared, who mark,
Or wisely or unwisely, signs of storm,
Waverings of every vane with every wind,
And wordy trucklings to the transient hour,             50
And fierce or careless looseners of the faith,
And Softness breeding scorn of simple life,
Or Cowardice, the child of lust for gold,
Or Labour, with a groan and not a voice,
Or Art with poisonous honey stol'n from France,
And that which knows, but careful for itself
And that which knows not, ruling that which knows
To its own harm: the goal of this great world
Lies beyond sight: yet--if our slowly-grown
And crown'd Republic's crowning common-sense,   60
That saved her many times, not fail--their fears
Are morning shadows huger than the shapes
That cast them, not those gloomier which forego
The darkness of that battle in the West,
Where all of high and holy dies away.



from The Works of Alfred Lord Tennyson, Poet Laureate (London: Kegan Paul, 1878).

BUILDING

Happy Father's Day

Anyone need a whisker rub? He had the look long before it was a fad.
 ("Whisker rubs" were usually reserved for anyone being cranky.)
And look at that twinkle in his eye.

Dear Dad:

Naturally, although we have never seen you do it, you can walk on water - right? I mean, why "sink or swim" if you can "walk on water"? From you (and mother) we learned faith. When we have faith, and turn to the Savior, we can walk on water.

1991 Mission to Los Angles, California, building the "kingdom"

You were always building something, but I think the most important thing you ever built was a family. You are a solid foundation each one of your family depends upon.

Trailer built on rear axle and bed of an old truck

And with a good foundation, anything can be built, and when needed repaired.

Repairing spring horse,
 but there sure was a lot of teasing about looking like this pony dumped you. 

We watched you.
We learned if you get "bucked off" just try again.
You can always try again.

How many pancakes have you made over the years?
How high can we count?

And of course a pancake, made with 'Cackle Berries' and 'Moo-Juice' was a great way to start the day, once you were 'up-and-at 'em,' and had 'that mattress off your back.'

And most of the other important lessons of life we heard as you worked and sang about "Swingin' on a Star:" Set our sites on the stars, don't be as stubborn as a mule, stay in school, be clean, have good manners, work hard, learn to read and write, those that are "slippery" will get caught, and of great importance - ALL the monkeys aren't in the zoo! Beware that we're not acting like a monkey!

Quilt, by Kimber for 2007 auction

What does it take to swing on a star?

SWING ON A STAR

Would you like to swing on a star?
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a mule?

A mule is an animal with long funny ears
Kicks up at anything he hears
His back is brawny but his brain is weak
He's just plain stupid with a stubborn streak
And by the way, if you hate to go to school
You may grow up to be a mule

Or would you like to swing on a star?
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a pig?

A pig is an animal with dirt on his face
His shoes are a terrible disgrace
He has no manners when he eats his food
He's fat and lazy and extremely rude
But if you don't care a feather or a fig
You may grow up to be a pig

Or would you like to swing on a star?
Carry moonbeams home in a jar
And be better off than you are
Or would you rather be a fish?

A fish won't do anything, but swim in a brook
He can't write his name or read a book
To fool the people is his only thought
And though he's slippery, he still gets caught
But then if that sort of life is what you wish
You may grow up to be a fish

And all the monkeys aren't in the zoo
Every day you meet quite a few
So, you see it's all up to you
You can be better than you are
You could be swingin' on a star

NO MIRACLE

Jesus healed many people.

Why not me?

A lame man may have had this question.

The man is described in Acts chapter 3.

Verse 2 records "And a certain man lame from his mother’s womb was carried, whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple which is called Beautiful, to ask alms of them that entered into the temple."

How is this possible? 

Do you ever feel like you wait at the "gate" of the temple, and even at heaven's door for a miracle that is not forthcoming? 

Was this lame man not at the temple gate when Jesus was?

Acts is the record of the things the apostles did after Christ's death. Jesus Christ, resurrected, ministered to the apostles 40 days. Acts chapter 1 describes how Jesus returned to heaven.

Acts 3 tells how the lame man was healed at the temple by Peter and John, sometime later, AFTER Christ's crucifixion, and resurrection, ministry, and return to heaven. Acts 4: 22 tells us "the man was above forty years old, on whom this miracle of healing was shewed."

FORTY years of age?
Where was he when Jesus came and went from the temple?

While Jesus lived on earth the blind saw, the deaf heard, the lame leaped by His power and miracles. Through his name and power, the rotted flesh of lepers "came again like unto the flesh of a little child" (2 Kings 5:9), and of even greater significance sins were forgiven—washed completely away, and forgiven.

Mathew 11:5 tells us, "The blind receive their sight, and the lame walk, the  lepers are cleansed, and the deaf hear, the dead are raised up, and the poor have the gospel preached to them."

We know from many sources, and specifically from Matthew 21:14 that "the blind and the lame came to [Jesus] in the temple; and he healed them."

How is it then that a 40 year old man, lame from his mother's womb, "laid at the gate of the temple daily" was still at the gate of the temple when Peter and John came?

The story (Acts 3: 4-13) tells us: 

"Peter, fastening his eyes upon him with John, said, Look on us. And he gave heed unto them, expecting to receive something of them. Then Peter said, Silver and gold have I none; but such as I have give I thee: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk.

"And he took him by the right hand, and lifted him up: and immediately his feet and ankle bones received strength. And he leaping up stood, and walked, and entered with them into the temple, walking, and leaping, and praising God.  And all the people saw him walking and praising God:

"And they knew that it was he which sat for alms at the Beautiful gate of the temple: and they were filled with wonder and amazement at that which had happened unto him. And as the lame man which was healed held Peter and John, all the people ran together unto them in the porch that is called Solomon’s, greatly wondering.

"And when Peter saw it, he answered unto the people, Ye men of Israel, why marvel ye at this? or why look ye so earnestly on us, as though by our own power or holiness we had made this man to walk? The God of Abraham, and of Isaac, and of Jacob, the God of our fathers, hath glorified his Son Jesus . . . ."

Peter witnessed that this man was healed so that the people could receive a sure witness of the divinity of Jesus Christ, and that His power and gospel remained on the earth.

Prophets teach us to go to the temple when we are troubled, to seek peace and healing there. As we wait at the temple praying for a miracle do we have faith and trust like this man apparently had?

Do we trust God?

Can we accept His omniscience?

Especially when we feel we have been bypassed?

Even when miracles happen for all around us?"

Particularly when we have cause to question: "Why not me?"

PARENTING

In FAML100 this week we are studying the practices of parenting. Last week we studied the principles of parenting. In long-term ongoing studies, out of all the varied parenting styles, authoritative parenting  (note: this is different than authoritarian coercive parenting) consistently shows the best long term outcomes and health, mentally and physically. Spanking is not desirable. There are better ways.

Our teacher posted a link to an infographic showing details. I recommend it. Scroll down a way to see the infographic. We had a number of activity choices and questions to answer. I chose the following:

Q: Your older sibling calls you. “Since you’re the big expert in parenting and families, tell me what I’m supposed to do about my 6-year old son who throws a fit every time we...” How do you respond? 

First I would laugh right out loud (didn't we recently have a conversation and I thought he was the expert?), then commiserate about my own child (grandchild), and reassure my sibling that his 6 year old son (or grandson) is going through a normal stage of childhood.

Prosocial values, like caring for close family, cooperating with other children, and not hurting anyone intentionally can be seen early in some children, but just as often they are not. I would tell my sibling that in my Child Development Class we learned that “many lines of research have shown that children develop their own morality, guided by peers, parents and culture” (The Developing Person, p. 402) and they do so on their own unique timetable. His 6 year old will be fine, mostly because of the examples of loving and kind parents, and grandparents, and even Aunts and Uncles. I pledge to be kind to that 6 year old, especially when I felt like sending him straight home!

During this age children typically become more systematic, objective, and their learning increases exponentially. Before age 5 children are eager to talk and think, but they do not always understand all that is said, and only gradually come to understand things from other viewpoints. Parents’ underlying attitudes and examples are crucial to model the types of behaviors they expect their children to learn. 

The Proclamation teaches: “Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live.” Children from every ethnic group and every culture benefit if they believe that they are appreciated; children everywhere suffer if they feel rejected and unwanted.

As children’s thinking and reasoning processes develop, their brains are growing rapidly. They are developing a sense of who they are and their needs should be respected. They have learned “I am”—their existence as a distinct person, and they often think they are best at everything. The more we can validate their existence and the wonderful abilities they are developing the happier they become. At this age young children are only just beginning to apply new skills to things in their own experiences—to situations with visible, tangible, real things (not abstractions). They are not logical, sometimes confusing lies and wishes, and forgetting why they are punished.

We also learned in Child Development that at age 5 most children can count to 100, but not until about age 8 can they estimate where on a number line a particular two digit number would be placed. They are just starting to learn to arrange things into logical series and infer or transfer information as they figure out how one fact is linked to another, and how those facts affect them. If John is taller than Jim, and Jim is taller than David, who is taller John or David? Being able to understand and answer these types of thinking tests is part of normal development that can happen at different ages for each child (The Developing Person, p. 352, 356). 

My darling nephew (or grandson) is doing his best to correlate the massive amounts of information he is learning and make sense of it—and his dad (and mom) need to help.

Good caregiving is not achieved by following any one simple rule; children’s temperaments vary, and so do cultural patterns. All children need guidance [and] there are many ways to provide it. Because early childhood is a critical time for teaching moral behavior parents need to establish healthy boundaries and consequences.

Ideally, adults anticipate misbehavior and guide children toward patterns of behavior and standards of morality that develop from within the child’s self, taking into account the unique circumstances of the child, but misbehavior cannot always be prevented. 

 Nevertheless, children’s “brains are especially attuned to their own repeated social experiences . . . [as] the parts of the cortex dedicated to the senses develop,” and research demonstrates that this is a crucial time of brain growth that is heavily influenced by environment and interpersonal relationships (The Developing Person, p. 142). 

When they are engaged in positive activities, problems become less frequent as their minds and energies are directed and involved. Often simple awareness prevents incidents, especially among the young. Almost all children like to engage adults in conversation and activities, and are readily distracted or encouraged to other things if adults watch for warning signs and prevent critical situations from starting.

Elder Quentin L Cook teaches, “How we treat those closest to us is of fundamental importance. Violence, abuse, lack of civility, and disrespect in the home are not acceptable—not acceptable for adults and not acceptable for the rising generation. . . . Regardless of the culture in which we are raised, and whether our parents did or did not abuse us, we must not physically, emotionally, or verbally abuse anyone else. . . .The need for civility in society has never been more important. The foundation of kindness and civility begins in our homes” (Oct 2012, Can You Feel So Now?). 

 It is important to teach and model appropriate interpersonal interactions to children and youth. Hitting is not OK! Name calling is not OK! Unkind words and actions need to stop! What teachers and parents model, children follow.

My advice? "Take a deep breathe, and enjoy!" This is one of the most fun and amazing stages in a child's life.

POEMS

In an attempt to collect poems I have memorized or that have had significant influence in my life to one place I have decided to publish them here on my blog. They will appear randomly as they come to mind or I find sources for the exact words.

Abou Ben Adam

Jonathan Bing

Jonathan Bing Does Arithmetic

Indipsensible Man

Laughin'

You Are Old Father William

JONATHAN BING DOES ARITHMETIC

Jonathan Bing Does Arithmetic

by Beatrice Curtis Brown (1901-1974)

When Jonathan Bing was young, they say,
He slipped his school and ran away;
Sat in the meadow and twiddled his thumbs
And never learnt spelling or grammar or sums.

So now if you tell him, “Add one to two”,
“Explain what you mean,” he’ll answer you,
“Do you mean 2-morrow or that’s 2 bad?
And what sort of 1 do you want me to add?

“For there’s 1 that was first when the race was 1,
(For he ran 2 fast for the rest to run).
But if 2 had 1 when the race was through,
I’d say your answer was 1 by 2.”

“Oh Jonathan Bing, you haven’t the trick
Of doing a sum in arithmetic.”
“Oh give me a chance, just one more try,”
Says Jonathan Bing with a tear in his eye.

“Very well, Jonathan, try once more,
Add up a hundred and seventy-four.”
“A hundred, and seventy-four,” says he,
“Why — that’s a great age for a person to be!”

Says Becky from Poetry Friday: "from my ragged old copy of the Arrow Book of Funny Poems, collected by Eleanor Clymer (Scholastic, 1961), originally published in Jonathan Bing and Other Poems, 1936."

POOR OLD JONATHAN BING

 By Beatrice Curtis Brown

Poor old Jonathan Bing

Went out in his carriage to visit the King,

But everyone pointed and said, "Look at that!

Jonathan Bing has forgotten his hat!"

Poor old Jonathan Bing

Went home and put on a new hat for the King,hat

But by the palace the soldier said, "Hi!

You can't see the King; you've forgotten your tie!"

Poor old Jonathan Bing,

He put on a beautiful tie for the King,

But when he arrived, and Archbishop said, "Ho!

You can't come to court in pajamas, you know!"

Jonathan BingJonathan Bing's house

Poor old Jonathan Bing

Went home and addressed a short note to the King:

"If you please will excuse me, I won't come to tea;

For home's the best place for all people like me!"

YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM

You are old, Father William,” the young man said,
“And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head –
Do you think, at your age, it is right?”

“In my youth,” Father William replied to his son,
“I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.”

“You are old,” said the youth, 

                                      “as I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door –
Pray, what is the reason of that?”

“In my youth,” said the sage, 

                              as he shook his grey locks,
“I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment – one shilling the box –
Allow me to sell you a couple?”

“You are old,” said the youth, 

                                  “and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, 

                                   with the bones and the beak –
Pray how did you manage to do it?”

“In my youth,” said his father, “I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life.”

“You are old,” said the youth, 

                                     “one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose –
What made you so awfully clever?”

“I have answered three questions, 

                                       and that is enough,”
Said his father; “don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!”

Poem written by Lewis Carroll in the mid 1800's.

INDISPENSABLE MAN

"Indispensable Man"

Saxon White Kessinger

Sometime when you’re feeling important;
Sometime when your ego’s in bloom
Sometime when you take it for granted
You’re the best qualified in the room,

Sometime when you feel that your going
Would leave an unfillable hole,
Just follow these simple instructions
And see how they humble your soul;

Take a bucket and fill it with water,
Put your hand in it up to the wrist,
Pull it out and the hole that’s remaining
Is a measure of how you’ll be missed.

You can splash all you wish when you enter,
You may stir up the water galore,
But stop and you’ll find that in no time
It looks quite the same as before.

The moral of this quaint example
Is do just the best that you can,
Be proud of yourself but remember,
There’s no indispensable man.

From Apple Seed website

"Indispensable Man" was originally published in "The Nutmegger Poetry Club under the name Saxon Uberuaga. It has also been published in "Boots" in Spring 1993, in "The Country Courier" 1996, "Rhyme Time" in Winter 2000, and in "Golden Times" in August 2003.

Saxon White Kessinger is a member (and past president) of Gem State Writers’ League and a member of Idaho Writers’ League. She is an award winning writer, receiving Idaho Writers’ League "2003 Lifetime Achievement Award," "Writer of the Year" in 1992, 1995, and 2002 and "Poet of the Year" in 1999 and 2000 from her Idaho State Leagues. She has published various poetry offerings and many articles in various newspapers and magazines. You can reach the author by email at poetsaxon@juno.com

SLIPPERS

I do not wear slippers.
Never have.

BUT, what about these?
These are shiny silver dots (not white).

If my feet (rarely) are cold I get a pair of socks. Last time I was hospitalized they provided a pair of grey fuzzy ankle socks with grippers.

They are actually my favorite foot solution.

BUT, these are pretty funky!
I think I could wear these.
At least for those few times needed.

Yeap! These feel pretty good.

And the comparison is no contest for looks.
However the grey socks may still win for practicality.

ABOU BEN ADHEM

BY James Henry Leigh Hunt

Abou Ben Adhem (may his tribe increase!)
Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace,
And saw, within the moonlight in his room,
Making it rich, and like a lily in bloom,
An angel writing in a book of gold:—
Exceeding peace had made Ben Adhem bold,
And to the presence in the room he said,
"What writest thou?"—The vision raised its head,
And with a look made of all sweet accord,
Answered, "The names of those who love the Lord."
"And is mine one?" said Abou. "Nay, not so,"
Replied the angel. Abou spoke more low,
But cheerly still; and said, "I pray thee, then,
Write me as one that loves his fellow men."

The angel wrote, and vanished. The next night
It came again with a great wakening light,
And showed the names whom love of God had blest,
And lo! Ben Adhem's name led all the rest.

PRAYER

Our lesson today in Relief Society was from the teachings of Ezra Taft Benson, lesson 2. I learned and remembered many things.

He memorized a poem when he was a boy.

“Prayer”
   by Eliza M. Hickok,

I know not by 

  what methods rare,
But this I know, 

  God answers prayer.
I know that He 

  has given His Word,
Which tells me prayer 

  is always heard,
And will be answered, 

  soon or late.
And so I pray 

  and calmly wait.

I know not if 

  the blessing sought
Will come in just 

  the way I thought;
But leave my prayers 

  with Him alone,
Whose will is wiser 

 than my own,
Assured that He 

  will grant my quest,
Or send some answer 

  far more blest.

I know this verse is true in my life.
I think I will memorize this poem.

Then I will always have the words with me in my mind to access, and peruse any time any day, anywhere. 

Hope

A poem I love:

Hope as a "Little Bird"

"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all,

"And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

"I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me."

(Emily Dickinson)

PALEOGRAPHY

This semester I am studying handwriting -
         especially old handwriting and scripts.

First we studied the whole idea of writing. How it developed and some of the history. Remember my clay tablet? That was a bit of fun to start the semester.

We learned about things to write with, and things to write on, and even the mediums used such as impressing marks in clay or wax, painting on rice paper with different brushes and inks, or perhaps a reed pen on papyrus, and all the ways pens and inks have evolved. Some in the class even made their own quill pens and inks. Here is a how to link from Youtube with lots of fun pictures of real old stuff .

We began with some fairly modern 'hands,' or 'scripts' as they are known, and are working our way back in time. Week by week we study the many different ways people learn to write.

It was easy to recognize Palmer and Spencerian scripts. These hands are fairly familiar to us in our time, and even when we tell someone their writing looks like "chicken scratching" we can usually make out some sense of what they wrote.

Famous examples of the flourished Spencerian Script are the Ford and CocaCola logos.

Copperplate Roundhand

 Next we learned Copperplate-Roundhand. That was more intense and required some attention to detail. Most difficult is to be presented with images of various hands and need to identify them by only looking at them, and define them, and state the years they were used - yes, stressful but fun, nevertheless. I still must look very carefully to discern the difference between such hands.

Our lessons have many hints about how to write each script, provide alphabets, and lined practice sheets like I used in elementary school.

The hints are generally of the following nature: "A fast way to learn copperplate script is to write the capital and lower case letters one hundred times each with a ball-point pen. Once that is done, you should have each letter imprinted into your brain, hand and eye; then you may find it easier to use a quill or flexible steel nib when you begin emphasizing the downstrokes by slight pressure increase" (because the main way to tell Spencerain and Copperplate apart is the heavier, wider down stroke in Copperplate).

Did I write letters EACH 100 times?
Are you kidding me?
I did one line each, game over!

Secretary Hand

We moved on to a variety of scripts and I actually enjoyed Secretary Hand (above). Great-Grandpa Henry Bohne wrote in a similar hand and Aunt LuRay, his daughter, taught me how to read it.

The class as a whole complained a bit. It is a difficult script for many to learn. The National Archives Paleography website has wonderful and fun tutorials and we get to spend time 'playing' there. I thought it was great fun to read some of an English Queen's personal correspondence.

My best 'Court Hand' practice sheets - as submitted.

Then we moved on to Italic and Court Hands.  I swear half of the letters in Court Hand look like the letter b or B.  Random Latin had been fun but suddenly it was in every record along with Roman numerals, Regnal year dates, and Julian versus Gregorian calendars, not to mention Feast Day Calendars. Did you know that 1752 was the shortest year because it is missing 72 days? True fact!  1 Jan 1752 - 24 March 1752, and then 2 Sept - 13 Sept 1752 never existed!

Court Hand from the National Archives Tutorials. 

I didn't think anything could be more difficult than Court Hand. I wondered sometimes if I were reading English, but I did well on most of my work in Court Hand. It was doable.

This coming week we study Kurrent Hand.
It's German!

I don't speak German, but my teacher does!
Naturally!

So I began.

Then the fun started! 

If you laugh too hard I will not be blamed for consequences. 

I am having quite an experience with Kurrent Script. I went through and printed most of the scripts near the beginning of the semester so I pulled out those practice sheets and began reading the study material. After glancing through it last week I took a screen shot of an alphabet, enlarged it to be a full sheet and printed it, hoping to study the letters and compare them while traveling. I wasn't able to, however, I do have the printout to look at.

(And please understand that the process below was all happening in a matter of a few minutes and seconds.)

I started looking at the print out and couldn't understand it or see letters in it at all! I decided to be more methodical and read about the history etc first and then examine the script. When I started reading I was puzzled. I couldn't see the letters they were showing and thought maybe I hadn't been diligent in examining them, so got the sheet again and started looking very carefully at every single letter.

I scanned the letters across the top, and then went down the first row and then the second row in the left hand column trying in vain to see any similar or familiar letters. Why, I wondered, was this writing so very different and how could I possibly learn it.

Last week Court Hand was frightful, but when I got looking at documents I could figure it out in context. It was a relief to see lots of crossover letters between the Court, Italic, and Secretary hands - they almost seem mixed together on most documents, with some documents seeming to be more one way and some seeming more distinctly another. It even has a nice title - Mixed Hand.

In Kurrent, when I got to the 3rd row in the column, with English letters, I realized they were upside down! WAIT a minute!! The whole thing was upside down!! No wonder it seemed so difficult! Reading will likely be harder in real handwriting instead of idealized writing, but now this doesn't seem too bad, after I turned it right side up. DUH!! My husband laughed out loud when I showed him. 

Ironically I have picked up the script alphabet and practice sheets upside down, several times even knowing I do that, and not realized it until I encounter an English letter upside down. And next week it gets worse - we start reading Scandinavian records.

Wish me luck - what an adventure!