POOR OLD JONATHAN BING

 By Beatrice Curtis Brown

Poor old Jonathan Bing

Went out in his carriage to visit the King,

But everyone pointed and said, "Look at that!

Jonathan Bing has forgotten his hat!"

Poor old Jonathan Bing

Went home and put on a new hat for the King,hat

But by the palace the soldier said, "Hi!

You can't see the King; you've forgotten your tie!"

Poor old Jonathan Bing,

He put on a beautiful tie for the King,

But when he arrived, and Archbishop said, "Ho!

You can't come to court in pajamas, you know!"

Jonathan BingJonathan Bing's house

Poor old Jonathan Bing

Went home and addressed a short note to the King:

"If you please will excuse me, I won't come to tea;

For home's the best place for all people like me!"

YOU ARE OLD, FATHER WILLIAM

You are old, Father William,” the young man said,
“And your hair has become very white;
And yet you incessantly stand on your head –
Do you think, at your age, it is right?”

“In my youth,” Father William replied to his son,
“I feared it might injure the brain;
But, now that I'm perfectly sure I have none,
Why, I do it again and again.”

“You are old,” said the youth, 

                                      “as I mentioned before,
And have grown most uncommonly fat;
Yet you turned a back-somersault in at the door –
Pray, what is the reason of that?”

“In my youth,” said the sage, 

                              as he shook his grey locks,
“I kept all my limbs very supple
By the use of this ointment – one shilling the box –
Allow me to sell you a couple?”

“You are old,” said the youth, 

                                  “and your jaws are too weak
For anything tougher than suet;
Yet you finished the goose, 

                                   with the bones and the beak –
Pray how did you manage to do it?”

“In my youth,” said his father, “I took to the law,
And argued each case with my wife;
And the muscular strength, which it gave to my jaw,
Has lasted the rest of my life.”

“You are old,” said the youth, 

                                     “one would hardly suppose
That your eye was as steady as ever;
Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose –
What made you so awfully clever?”

“I have answered three questions, 

                                       and that is enough,”
Said his father; “don't give yourself airs!
Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!”

Poem written by Lewis Carroll in the mid 1800's.